behind the streams | dnf

twenty eight | you

A pained smile twists my face. "I can't help it. I just... worry. It's all I ever do."

"All you ever do," he echoes. 

"I have problems." It's somewhat of a joke but there's undeniable truth beneath it. 

His head lolls lazily to the side. "Don't say that," he grins lightly.

Smiling tenatively, I lean back, head bumping gently against the wall. "Am I wrong?"

"We all do," he offers, and I have to admit it takes me by slight surprise.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. You just like to show yours more than others."

A half-grin emerges on my face. "I do. Way too much, by the looks of it."

"It's not too much." 

"In comparison to you, it is a lot."

His head dips slightly and when he meets my gaze, he's more looking up. "I'm just nowhere as open as you." 

"That is true," I tilt my head thoughtfully. "You're always the one who.... listens. Or it's maybe because I don't give you the chance to talk." My fingers roll over a spot on the bedcovers. "It feels kind of unfair sometimes," I admit. 

A flat smile stretches on his face. "Not really. I'm used to it, and I'm fine with it." 

"I should really try being in your shoes sometimes," I continue. "Make myself sit still, and listen, for once." 

The smile grows into a laugh as he chuckles quietly. "I don't feel very comfortable being open about my problems," he murmurs. "Unlike you."

Scrunching my knees up to my chest, I rest my chin on top. "It's always been me, me, me. Have we ever talked about you like we do about me?"

One hand cups his cheek as he continues smiling subconsciously. "I don't think so," he admits slowly. 

"I probably just have a shit ton to choose from," I laugh. "I'm... I've got many problems. You seem so undisturbed all the time."

"I'm not, trust me," he purses his lips together. 

"You never mention anything," I explain. "That's why it seems like that." 

"You know everything you need to know," he says evenly. I see that his fingers are twisting the bracelet I gave him. From here I can see the glint of the infinity symbol. 

He's looking at the opposite side of the room as he speaks. "We've all got our issues," he murmurs, and in a strange way, the sentence sounds so detached from reality. Until his gaze snaps back to me and I force myself to meet his dark stare. "I just keep mine very close." 

The slightest creep of unfamilarity in his tone leaves me at a loss for words. There's a confused expression itching on my face to as I struggle to respond. 

"Um. Well." I scrunch up my features.  "You can always tell me anything you need to," I offer. 

He gives me a knowing grin and nods briefly. 

My hands lace together, resting on the bed. "Just so you know." I sing quietly. At this he laughs, and there's actually relief coursing through me at the normalcy of the tone.

"Back to you being negative," he curves. 

I can't help snickering at the abrupt change in subject. "I'm sorry," I chuckle. "I just... that's how I think."

"Must be awful," he remarks. 

I grin. "I"m just used to it. Naturally I lean towards that side."