? Hate or Fate ? {Enemies to Lovers}

.56.

If I didn't know any better (and technically, I didn't), I would guess that he was trying to keep me from meeting his family.     

"How was the rest of the party?" I pivoted away from the topic of Gray's misery.

"Amazing!" Rebecca rolled her eyes in remembered ecstasy. "We drank too much wine and played games and gorged on Thai food and cheesecake brownies. And he invited a bunch of his other artist friends who are all cool and totally nice, which makes it really hard to hate them for being so impossibly beautiful and talented."

The whole evening sounded pretty perfect actually.

It was a struggle to remind myself that I was the one who turned down his invitation. Not to mention, Gray left his own party to come and check on me because he was worried. Basically, I'd squandered every opportunity to leave my pity party and join Gray's fabulous dinner party. 

I took a step toward the bathroom. 

"Well, Bart, it was good to see you," I gestured at his hairy thighs. "Though, maybe not that much of you. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drain the mucus from my sinuses."

"That's funny," Rebecca snorted while I slunk off. "I haven't heard you sniffle or cough once since this conversation started, now that you mention it."

I looked her right in the eye and pretended to wheeze into my balled fist before ducking behind the bathroom door.

A sickening feeling was seeping beneath my skin to burn my insides like poison. 

Elijah's betrayal had tainted my ability to trust anyone. I made a snap judgment about Gray and drove myself to tears all because I automatically assumed the worst. It wasn't fair to Gray, or me.  

That beautiful blonde woman was his sister, and I was a total idiot.

Cool. 

I gulped to try and swallow my humiliation and regret, but it was swelling to the size of a softball in my throat. Doubling over, I grabbed my middle to ease the aches cramping my muscles and knotting my guts. 

Sure, I overreacted, but that didn't change Gray's behavior. He ghosted me for several days. A simple call or text to explain probably could have prevented the entire misunderstanding. 

I had no idea why Gray would want to keep me away from his family, but it certainly felt that way. 

I curled up and made myself smaller until I resembled a puddle on the floor tiles. 

Inexplicably, the thought of losing Gray hurt worse than my recent breakup with Elijah. 

It was an emptiness so deep that I swear it ached inside my bones.  

Losing my dad so young and so suddenly was the worst experience I'd ever gone through. Every other hardship or setback I faced after that, including the death of my grandparents and my recent breakup, paled in comparison to the unending pain of losing my dad. 

Nothing compared, until Gray.

It had taken me entirely too long to realize that he was so much more than a friend, or a creative peer, or even, the best lover I'd ever had. 

Gray saw through the walls I built up around my wounded heart. We recognized each other's damage. We intrinsically understood what it meant to be haunted by the pieces of ourselves that were taken from us. I lost my dad, and Gray lost his son. 

I could feel it in the way his body reacted to mine. I could see it in the watery depths of his glacial eyes. 

Every cell in my skin was humming, vibrating so fast that my arms and legs felt itchy like I might spontaneously combust. 

Hot tears stung my already raw eyelids as I shoved my palms into my sockets to try and stop the flow of water.

My thoughts were whirling around in my head like one of those dangerous swing rides at the county fair, the ones that look as if it's held together with bike chains and Duck Tape. The death-defying Tilt-o-Whirl would spin you round and round going faster and faster, only to precariously tip and dangle you like a vulnerable sack of flesh over the pavement below. 

My whole life felt like that.

At some point, Rebecca and Bart knocked on the door to ask if they could bring me a coffee from Vita's, which I politely declined. After they left, I peeled my tear-stained clothes off and climbed into a hot shower.