Unfettered (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 22 - True Colors

"And you think this is easy for me?" he challenges, gaze narrowed. "You think that after centuries of detesting this realm, and all who inhabit it, that desiring a human is easy?!"

"Well it sure didn't seem too difficult for you a few weeks ago," you spit back.

Loki doesn't respond. Instead his jaw tenses as he grinds his teeth together, thinking. But you're not going to give him the time to make more excuses.

"I went out on a limb to try and show you that I trust you," you seethe, a single, silent tear rolling down your cheek. "And what did you do? You pulled away! You took one look at my past and you ran. You ran, Loki. Again!"

"I do not run," Loki sighs. "But...I do require time to think. Alone."

You let out a tearful scoff. "Well...as long as you have the time, Loki," you frown. "As long as your head is clear."

You wait for Loki to speak. but he says nothing. Disappointed, you let out a sigh and turn to head for the door. But Loki catches your hand, and tries to pull you to him. You resist, pushing his arm away. But his grip is iron strong. Persistent. You cast a glance over your shoulder when he refuses to drop your hand, and fix him with an angry, tear-filled glare.

"Stay," he says in a whisper. A command, softened by the air of a question. He drops your hand, but keeps his emerald gaze fixed on you. 

"No, Loki," you answer. "You obviously need time to think."

Loki lets out a low chuckle, deep inside his chest. "My darling," he says. "All the time in the nine realms won't aid me in understanding this. In understanding you," he sighs, holding out his hand toward you. 

A single tear rolls down your cheek as butterflies explode in your chest. Genuine green eyes plead silently with yours, so you place your hand gently in his and allow the god to pull you close. He holds you against his chest as with his other hand he uses his thumb to wipe away the tear that sits on the pillow of your cheek.

"I hate this, Loki," you exhale. "This push and pull. I just...you can't keep locking me out. I'm trying to help you."

"You must understand that I cannot be helped," Loki sighs. "The tapestries have been woven, my darling. My thread ends here. Odin will not change his mind. He will not bring me back."

"Odin?" you question. 

"My...Thor's father," Loki says. "King of Asgard," he sneers. "He will not allow my return. Not this time."

"That's not true," you whisper. "He said you could come back."

Loki scoffs, disgust in his voice. But he pulls you closer as he speaks. "He has given me terms he knows I will not fulfill." Loki's lip curls into a small snarl. "He may take me from my home. He may withhold my birthright. But he will not steal my ascendency. I am no man's equal."

You bite your lip to keep from arguing. "You might change your mind," you offer instead. "But until then, I really am here to help you. No agenda. No mission," you assert. "I'm here right now because I want to be."

"I know," Loki whispers, his lips stirring your hair. 

"Then just...don't block me out," you sigh, leaning into him. "Please. Stop doing that."

Loki falls silent. In the quiet he simply holds you. But you can't help that edge of unease that still sits beneath your heart. That tiny, sliver of guilt that's been gnawing at you ever since you asked Loki to read your mind. 

You asked him to do that. He hadn't wanted to. But you insisted.

And whatever he saw hurt him.