Unfettered (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 29 - Mingling and Missions

"Such as?" Loki sneers.

"Such as the fact that I was scared that day," you offer. "That I lost my best friend."

Loki winces. 

"But...I made new ones. I think," you say. "And I'm part of something again. And that I think I'm...well, I'm pretty sure I'm happy. Actually happy. For the first time in a long time."

"Yet every time you look at me," Loki says coldly. "You will remember your suffering."

"Or I could remember how it was you that brought me here," you offer.

Loki falls silent, a cold and neutral expression on his face. It makes your chest ache seeing him so closed off. You're desperate to see that warm, playful god of mischief again. 

"Maybe...maybe if I understood why," you offer. "Why, Loki? Why did you do it? And don't give me that crap about being made to rule," you frown. 

Loki's lips twitch in an almost-snarl. Your stomach churns in aggravated anxiety as he glances in the direction of the main doors. For a moment, it looks like he's going to run again. 

So you reach for his hand, and thread your fingers through his. 

"Help me understand," you whisper. 

A broken exhale spills through Loki's lips. "I...I don't know," he finally answers. "I was promised everything. Anything. It seemed to be the only way."

"You were promised?" you question. "By who?"

Loki's eyes flare wide for only a microsecond. But it's enough for you to spot fear. You've never seen fear in Loki's eyes before. 

"What happened Loki?" you question. "What aren't you telling me?"

Loki's gaze dances between your own. He hesitates, almost as if physically unable to speak further. So instead, you close your eyes, and let warmth build in your cheeks. With a deep breath, you sink into your Perception. When you open your eyes once more, Loki finds your silver gaze, and leans his forehead against yours. The moment your skin touches, your mind explodes in vivid images from memories not your own. 

But there's something wrong with them. 

It's Loki's point of view, but...he's looking from too far away. As if seeing his own world through a telescope. You can feel his mania. It's crazed and almost uncontrolled. No, not almost. Completely uncontrolled. 

Loki's own mind had been tampered with.

With a horrified inhale you tear yourself out of Loki's memories, and find vulnerable green eyes staring back. Through your open Perception, you can see Loki's fear seeping from his body in ribbons of ink-like black. Out of his eyes, from the corners of his mouth. Your own anger and disgust comes pouring out in waves, eating up those black ribbons. 

"It wasn't you," you exhale. "Loki, it wasn't you."

"It was me," he snaps. "My nature. My ambition. My potential, all of it!" he barks, nostrils flaring. "I was chosen," he says - softer this time. "I was going to get everything I ever wanted. He was going to give it to me."

"Who?" you say in a deadly whisper. 

"I-," Loki falters, doubt clawing at his resolve. "I can't say."

"Why?" you snap.

Loki's shoulders slouch as he reaches for your face, cupping your cheek in his palm as if you were made of something even more delicate than porcelain. 

"Because it's done. And it is safer for you to never know," he says. "Please."

Your natural instincts claw at your throat, demanding you argue. That you press for more information. That's all you've ever done - seek information. Pry it out of living heads and corpses alike.