Unfettered (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 48 - Recalled

You've only been back in one of HYDRA's godforsaken trial rooms for a day, perhaps two, but you aren't sure how much longer your body can hold out. These trials are unlike any you had been put through in all your years locked up. Especially with the strange serums they've started injecting you with once more. Each one different. Each one painful.

As you sit strapped to a metal chair in the darkness, you think about Lila. Praying that she delivered your message to the Avengers, and that Tony recognized it, and knew what to do. But would such a small child even remember what you had whispered to her in a state of such fright?

"Tahiti".

Phil. Tony had been trying to get details from Fury, but the man had never even confirmed Phil's status, simply saying 'we lost a good agent in New York'. But he's alive. You know he's alive. And you know Tahiti has something to do with it. You need Tony to find Phil, because if anyone can find you now, it's Phil. He's done it once before.

As you listen to the mind-numbing, repetitive drop of water on concrete you feel a slight tickle on your neck. Loki's ribbon.

Oh god, Loki. He probably doesn't even know you're gone. How could he? The Avengers have to know by now. In fact, they're probably already out looking for you. Believing that is the only thing bringing you any comfort. But Loki isn't with them. And it's doubtful they've managed to get word to him.

"I'll see you soon.

"You had better not be lying to me, love."

"I would never."

In the quiet cold, you stifle a sob. You would give anything to simply travel back in time to finish your final words to him. To let him know one last time how much you love him. How sorry you are. How you wish you had more time. When suddenly, a thought occurs to you.

Maybe I can still talk to him.

"Heimdall," you whisper, surprised by the how hoarse your throat is. You try to wet your cracked lips, but your mouth is too dry. So you push through the pain and look up to the ceiling, imagining the blue sky above the balcony at Stark Tower. "I don't know if you can hear me when I'm inside, or how this works, but I'm in trouble," you rasp.

Silence answers, punctuated by slow drips of water on concrete.

"If you can hear me...I know you can't help me," you say, heart sinking as the weight of that truth settles over you like a cold blanket. You know he can't interfere. You had explained the same to the Avengers. But even though he can't help you now, he might be able to help Loki later. You take a breath, trying to control your tears, and keeping your voice quiet to avoid alerting the HYDRA personnel outside your cell. "I just want you to know that...that I understand. And I'm sorry to make you watch. But...I need to ask you a favor."

Your voice cracks, and you take a shaky breath as the salt from your tears seeps through your lips and spreads across your tongue.

"Two favors, actually," you whisper. "Please don't tell Thor. Let me suffer and let me die before letting Thor find out I was ever in any danger. Please Heimdall, don't tell him when there's nothing he can do."

You close your eyes, conjuring images of Thor in your mind. His kind blue eyes. His familiar and friendly smile. How safe you felt in his care in Asgard. But slowly, Thor's face morphs into Loki's. And you feel your heart shatter. Loki's emerald gaze. His soft hands as they cup your face. The gentle, stolen kisses when he thinks you're asleep on his chest. His jests, his tricks, his arguments with the team.

You love everything about him.

"And please keep watch on Loki," you whisper. "I know you can see how his heart has changed. I know you see that he's worthy of going home. And I'm afraid that if I don't...if I don't come home that he'll give up. Please...don't let him give up."

"Quiet!"

A HYDRA guard's voice from outside your cell rings through the empty chamber, bouncing from wall to wall. Desperate to say more - to plead for Heimdall's promise - you're frightened by the promise of what waits for you if you don't obey. So you try again - for the hundredth time since your capture - to meditate. To do anything that might ease the splitting pain in your head or the aching in your joints. But it's not long before the metal door to your Trial Room swings open. Chained as you are, you can't see who's coming in behind you. But you can hear them. Broken, manic sobs are accompanied by the drag of heavy chains along the ground.

"We begin again," the Doctor's voice barks as a hand in your hair yanks your head back, and a needle slides into your neck. You whimper as something cold slithers through your veins, causing the muscles in your neck to constrict. "Hush now" the Doctor croons as he presses down on the plunger. "I've solved that little issue we had last time. Let us see how you perform on this concoction."

The cold turns to fire that licks the insides of your veins. You scream as your body is wracked with pain. But the hand in your hair keeps your eyes on the ceiling, and you pray that Heimdall has heard you as you let your mind sink into hazy oblivion.