I'M NOT A STALKER!

TEN

I promised that I'll do my best in everything I want to do. And now is my focus is Sarawat. I want to be close to him. I want to know more about him. My fingers hurt actually and they are aching to just tossed the guitar and played with my phone instead but then I remembered Sarawat. There is something in me who wants to impress him.

Lately my head is full of him and I don't like it. It's just that I found it weird if a day passed without me making him annoyed. I like annoying him. The way he rolls his eyes at me, looking at me like I'm the stupidest human being he had ever seen is priceless. I want to see more of him than his grumpy self actually. I know there is something behind it. I want to see other reactions from his face and not just that stone cold emotionless face bastard that he always pulls off everytime he's with me. I mean I sometimes see him laughing and smiling at his friends but only with them and I want to be one of those people too. Making him smile or if it's not much to ask I want to make him laugh and be himself more around me.

Sometimes I found it weird how hard I'm trying to tear this wall between us and It's turning me into someone that I don't even know. The fact that I also pay lots of attention to him more than I have to is making me feel sick sometimes. Maybe because I'm just desperate to get close to him. I mean I'm doing this for money, right?

Right?

But then I remembered his face a while ago. I felt something in my chest when he looked at me angrily as he slapped my hands away making me stepped backward. I felt like we're back to 0. I mean we're not friends but we're not strangers!! I made him mad and I don't know what I just did actually. Urg! I hate him! He's making me crazy!

I'm feeling guilty knowing that I pissed him off but then I don't know what I just did to make him mad! How can I apologized if I don't even know what I'm sorry for, right?

I sighed before continuing on playing but turned out pissing me more everytime I messed up. I can't go on like these. If I messed up tomorrow I'll be a laughing stock for Sarawat and I can't let that happen. I want to impress him not to give him a reason to tease me. So I'll do my best.

*

"You look like panda"

Ohm said.

"I stayed up late last night practicing"

I answered. We don't have class today but they are here to watch the football match.

"Told you just give it up"

Fong said and I sighed.

"It's too late now. I can do it watch me"

I answered.

"Really? You don't feel nervous at all?"

They asked both wiggling their brows. So i sighed. They knew that I'm a nervous wreck when it comes to performing in front of all people.

"Not gonna lie that I feel nervous now to the point that I just want to live in the comfort room for a while"

I said as I sighed.

"Let's go. We need to find Pear"

My eyes widened.

"Why?!"

"So she can cheer you up? I know that she's one of the medic her faculty sent for the football team so she's here might as well tell her to spare you some time to watch"

Ohm said.

"Are you kidding? My heart will palpitate as soon as I see her. And if she watch me play guitar that will be the end of me! So saved it! I still love to breath"

I said in all honesty. It's 10am, the audition will be in 30 minutes so I have to go.

"Gotta go now. Are you going to cheer for me?"

I asked.

"Nope! We're going to the field"

Fong said.

"But the game will start at 1pm!"

I exclaimed.

"Yep we know. But the cheerleaders are already there!"

My brows creased at that. But then I sighed.

"Okay then see you around! I'll be there too after the audition I'll be joining the cheerleading. I can make it before the game"

I said and was about to leave but then I saw them smiling at me playfully. My brow furrowed.

"Things you do for Sarawat"

"Shut up Ohm"

I spat.

"This is the very first time I saw you being determined to win someone's heart. You're always lazy but then when Sarawat came you joined clubs out of nowhere"

Fong said wiggling his brows and I just want to throw him.

"I just want him to be my friend"

I said for nth time. Yeah I already explained everything to them but of course it was all filtered out. I just said that I do it for the sake of the friendship and now here they are teasing me. Just like Man and Boss doing the same thing. Speaking of them, Sarawat's friends and this two dumb friends of mine started to hang out too.

"We're also friends but you never did an effort for us!"

I just rolled my eyes at that.

*

Air and Dim and some of the official members serves as our critic to our audition. It was all fun but then it's my turn to play and I'm already a nervous wrecked. But then when I sat there stealing glances to the people around me I know that I have to do what I promised. I can do it. I sat there with the guitar on my lap. I took one deep breath as I started to strum. As I looked up I met Sarawat eyes that made me shocked. What is he doing here? I thought he can't make it? Considering the fact that I pissed him off yesterday so why is he here? But then I realized that he's also a member so he has the right to watch the audition as he pleased.
I continued to play like I'm a pro but the truth is it is the only song i can play, nothing more hehe.

So close that I can't say a word

It's so close that I can't see anyone else

 When we're so close that I want to hold my breath

It's so close that there's only you and me today

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Thank you for the votes and comments. I appreciate it a lot! Anyway, Today is our dear Wat's birthday so might as well give you an update😊 I miss Sarawatine😭

Hope you're taking care of yourself💕