Protect One Another - US!Papyrus x Reader

Chapter 9/24 -- Kitchen Shenanigans and Accidents

"Be quiet! The MAGNIFICENT Sans has no such fear!" he exclaimed haughtily, only causing Y/n to laugh further. "I'm just not- not sure where they are exactly! Because I don't work here! That's what I mean!"

"Whatever you say Blueberry." Y/n rolled her eyes and lifted herself onto the countertop. She sat on her knees and pushed cans of spider food, bags of flour, and other things aside looking for the tortillas.

"...Blueberry?" Sans said hesitantly. "Why would you call me that?"

Y/n snickered to herself. Aw heck yeah. "Why not? You do wear blue, berry often. I thought it was fit-"

"YOU JUST LOST KNEECAP PRIVALEGES HUMAN."

"OH SH-"

Sans swatted her legs, causing her to lose her balance. She hit her head hard on the wooden counter and blacked out for a second. She sat up slowly and rubbed the back of her head, glaring daggers at Sans. "You little jerk. I thought you were better than that."

"Not when you're adopting Papy's terrible pun habit!" he retorted, waving the tortilla bag she had dropped in her face angrily. "And for that you won't be my assistant any longer!"

"Sans it was a joke! Calm down," she exclaimed, sitting straight on the counter now. "I wanna help make tacos with you...!" Sans turned his back on her and walked to where the other ingredients were. He slammed down the bag and found a knife, beginning to slice the tomatoes.

Y/n slid off the counter and walked over to the stove. She flipped it on and put on a pan, spilling olive oil into it. Completely ignoring Sans's command to not help. The skeleton turned to see what she was doing, looking at her intrigued. She took out a packet of what looked like ground beef from the fridge and plopped it into the pan, sending a sizzling sound into the air. "Human, what are you doing?"

Y/n ignored his question, instead taking out a spatula and separating the meat. Sans rolled his eyes and walked over to her, standing over her shoulder and watched for a moment (although they are about the same height, I suppose the expression can still be used). "Huma- er, Y/n, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Thank you for saying my name for once. I, good sir, am making the beef for the tacos," she replied, her full attention still on her work. "Doesn't it smell good?"

Sans nodded slowly, before snapping himself back to reality. "Ye-no! No! I told you not to help because you made a bad pun!" he retorted. "And what does that make you?"

"A snack~." You set yourself up for that pal lol.

"Wha-? NO! It makes you disobedient! And disobedient people get punished!" Y/n's mind went to the gutter and she started to snicker uncontrollably. Sans looked at her perplexed, but then grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the other side of the room. "Now stay here and be good!"

"You're treating me like a pet Sans. Just let me help you make the dang tacos!" Y/n whined, crossing her arms in front of her chest irritated. Sans shook his head, grinning to himself, and took control of the stove situation as if he'd done it a million times; in which he probably had.

"Sansss" He doesn't respond. "Sans, c'mon. Stop ignoring me!" No response. "Can you just let me help please?" No response. Clearly, this wasn't going to work. Looks like I need to take more drastic measures.

Y/n waited for Sans to turn his back on her. He swiftly walked to a cupboard, looking for some sort of spice. She took her chance. She quickly walked to where the sliced tomatoes were and took up the knife. She took one slice at the tomato before she felt a hand on her shoulder. Instinctively, she took the sliced tomato and threw it at the person's face. Which, of course, was Sans's.