Untitled Part 1

34

The six of them sat again in silence as they felt the train begin to move forward, they wouldn't call it comfortable silence though, since every now and then one of them shares an awkward glance to the other. There was a lot to talk about and they knew it, but somehow none of them managed to break the quietude.

Draco:
This has got to be one of the longest, most dreadful rides I've ever been on in my seven years at this school. My whole body was aching severely when I was on my way to the Express, and just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, bloody Pansy had the audacity to accept Granger's offer and make us sit with them. I did notice Potter, of course I did, he was literally laying in front of me. Although I'll admit, I kept thanking Merlin that he was dozed off, because then I'll have to face him—and I'm pretty sure that I'm not quite ready to do that just yet.
Actually,
I don't think I'm going to be able to do that at all. I have to keep him as far away from me as possible. Even though Voldemort's dead and my father's in Azkaban, even though I'm no longer a death eater, even though nothing is standing in our way now, I can't just bring myself to restart my life—especially my life with him. He now probably got his memories back... about Dumbledore. Hopefully he remembers that I wasn't the one who killed him, and that I actually considered backing down.
I already took away a lot from Potter, and as I said before, he deserves better. So this year I have to keep my distance—I have to go back being my old vile self, because if I give myself over to my humanity, I wouldn't be able to let go, meaning that I would be unintentionally causing him more pain without even knowing it.

I also felt utterly embarrassed to say the least, given the fact that some people begun aware of what I attempted to do before summer break—even Potter knows that I tried to kill myself for him... No, I can't have that. No one is going to question it, no one is going to question my weak side—mainly not him.
And I'll make sure of that. I'll have to become the big bad Draco Malfoy all over again, whether I like it or not, it's the only way. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I care what other people are going to think of me—what would they think about my so called 'suicide mission', because I genuinely couldn't give two shits. But the only thing that bugs me is him. Potter seeing and knowing my weaknesses is the last thing I want on this planet. I refuse to let him see my fragile side, and I'll live by that.

Some time had passed, and none of us uttered a single word yet. I heard myself slightly wince as I accidentally let my arm nudge onto the sharp edge of my seat. Dammit, these bruises. To be completely honest, they didn't really bother me that much, except for that one huge scar on my forearm, exactly where the dark mark was. It was quite fresh and painful—the others weren't that bad. If only they weren't so noticeable then it'll be much better. I can't have random people and students come up to me asking me about them, because what the hell was I going to say? Oh nothing, just got hexed with the Cruciatus Curse probably like seventeen consecutive times by Lord Voldemort?
No.
Exactly.

"Draco, when we get there you're going straight to madame Pomfrey do you understand? You have to stay at least a few days there. From what I could see you're not doing so well." I felt Pansy lean in and mutter in my ear. She must have saw me flinch. But there is no way in hell that I'm going to stay at the school nurse for days and waist my time. I feel fine.

"I'm perfectly fine, just a bit light-headed. That's all." I whispered back, not tearing my gaze away from the ground.

"But Draco you're no-"

"I said I'll be fine." I cut her off, my tone a bit firmer than before.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Stubborn git."

"What are you two on about?" We both turned in union to Blaise, even Weasley and Granger glared our way—and before I even got the chance to say something, Pansy barged in.

"Nothing. Draco's being a little too obstinate and won't have at least one bloody checkup at madame Pomfrey just like his mother asked." She whined. Gosh sometimes I wonder why I didn't punch her in the face the chance I got last year.

I heard Weasley huff as he tidied his position beside the window, not uttering a word, and I wish I could say the same thing about Granger.
"I think you should do as your told, Malfoy. Those scratches don't look too good." She spoke in her usual 'know-it-all' tone.

"And I think you should mind your own beeswax, Mudbl- Ow!!"

I didn't get the chance to continue that sentence when I felt Pansy harshly nudge my shin. "Asshole." I muttered.

Weasley hadn't said anything, but I could see his knuckles whiten as he firmly gripped them into his palms. I just rolled my eyes, hoping that they would all just shut up for the next hour until we get there, and let me sit in piece with my thoughts and mind.

Well, unfortunately, that was impossible when you have bloody Pansy Parkinson sitting next to you. I wonder how Potter managed to stay asleep throughout the whole ride. He must be some really heavy sleeper.

"You know what? I think I might have an idea." She exclaimed but quietly.

Both Weasley and I groaned in frustration as to what was coming next. Granger only looked at her in way that said go on, and Blaise said nothing as usual.

"Why don't we make a truce?"