Call Out My Name

Gone

"How much time has passed?" She asked. Mal looked at her worriedly.

"I've looking for you for a day; you could have bled out, Alina." He scolded her.

"But I didn't," she smiled at him. Once again, she had survived. How close had she come to die? How many times was it that she almost greeted death?

How many lives does a Saint have?

Countless.

She would go down in history as a Saint; she would never die. The story of Alina Starkov, the story of the fragile orphan, a small frightened girl that could summon sunlight, the story of the Sun Saint, who had been martyred in the Fold, it would never die. Ravka's daughter, Ravka's sun.

Her and the Darkling's stories would forever be intertwined.

And long after she was gone, truly gone in her physical form, the stories about her would follow the Darkling for eternity.

I guess you wouldn't be so lonely after all, Aleksander. Your martyrdom would be listening and enduring all the stories about me, reliving all the memories we had. I would never truly fade; I will always be there to remind you of what could have been. This is the closest to immortality I will ever get.

Alina had failed to make him a better man, and he had failed to make her a monster.

The light and the dark.

He had left a scar on the map of Ravka; he had torn his own country in half and made it his prisoner.

Alina had left a scar on his heart and consciousness, a place where only she could reach that deep.

Balance.

They were meant to balance each other out.

Instead, they had gone and tried to change the other according to their own liking. They had pushed their agenda far too much onto the other.

Alina had lost her power in the process, and Aleksander had lost himself, his human side, his vulnerability.

"I want something warm," she told Mal as they walked through the woods.

"I know, I know," he rubbed her shoulders.

***

Alina was glad to see all of them alive and well. There had been injuries, but nothing life-threatening.

"I can't believe I let him escape," Zoya grunted in distress. "He was with the twins and me, and then he escaped."

"It's not your fault," Alina assured her. "It was bound to happen anyway."

"How can you say that!" Zoya snapped but immediately turned apologetic to Alina.

"Do you think he came back from the dead to be your prisoner?" Alina grunted sarcastically.

"Stay here," Zoya told her. "We will take the kids to the Little Palace; you will be safe here." Alina shook her head no.

"I am tired of running and hiding from him," she told her. "I am tired of fighting him, but if I have to, if he comes to me, then I will. But I won't hide, Zoya. I won't hide the kids and teach them fear. I will teach them how to be brave and how to fight."

"No changing your mind?" She asked quietly, with a small smile on her face as she looked at the others, all in deep conversations, all planing a recovery strategy. Alina looked at them too. She knew they would manage. They were a capable bunch, and she had chosen them herself to lead the Second Army in her stead.