ARRANGED DEAL ; [??? x ???]

Chapter 32

"Ask yourself, Jeonghan!" She shouted at me. I'm so glad that we're the only ones here at the Park.

"Just tell me, Sowon-ah! I can't think of anything I've done to you-"

"What's your relationship with Seungcheol?" She cuts me off. I was still. I can't even move my body, neither my mouth. I stood there, frozen.

"Why can't you answer me?" She asked, almost whispering. She's still crying.

"He's just a friend, Sowon." I gulped as I answer. She heaved a sigh. She looked at me straight into the eye.

"Are you really sure that he's just a friend, huh, Jeonghan?!" She asked me and I couldn't answer. My eyes is getting watery.

"For the few days staying in Japan, an anonymous person keeps on sending pictures to me. You in the clinic, taking care by Seungcheol. You guys going out in the Theme Park when I didn't even get to meet you at that fucking restaurant. That one picture of him carrying you after being beaten up," she gathered all his breath before adding, "You guys holding hands here, here at the same park we're at!" She shouted right onto my face.

I couldn't answer her. "And," She stopped for a second and made an eye contact with me. "Your very first encounter where he had your first." I looked at her in shock. But I shouldn't be surprised that she knew, we're at the same school that time.

"Your encounters in his car.." I suddenly remembered those times that Seungcheol kissed me in his car.

"And you know what's painful?" She asked me, her eyes is so red right now and I couldn't control myself but to cry too. "Is when he fell for you."

"Wanna know more what's more painful than that?" She asked me once again and I was just there, looking at her. "Is that I noticed that you fell for him too." I looked at her in shock.

"I-I don't like him, Sowon-ah.." I said and I tried to hold her hand but she immediately refused.

"Are you sure, Jeonghan?" She asked me in a sarcastic tone. "Maybe you don't know yet, but Jeonghan, I tried to not believe those pictures I received because you promised me.." She sobbed and it's really painful for me to see her like that. "..you promised me that you will wait for me." That was a loud bang.

"Can you wait for me?"

"You remembered your promise now? That was the promise you failed to fulfill." She pointed at me, dissing me. "I held onto your promise, Jeonghan." She turned her back and looked at up, probably trying to suppress her tears.

"I kept on holding onto that, Jeonghan. Not until I saw what those pictures really mean, face to face." She said and I looked at her confused.

"I saw how worried you were for him earlier, Jeonghan, specially when Seungkwan mentioned his name." She sniffled. I couldn't utter a word. I feel like she's slapping me with reality.

"You immediately forgot my existence and I can see how much he means to you." She broke down and I don't care if she will push me away, I need to be her shoulder right now, even though I'm also the reason of her pain right now.

"You may be fair for giving him a punishment, but I saw how much you wanted to go to him when he's about to bend on his knees due to tiredness." She revealed. So she saw me?

"You thought I went home? No. I was waiting for you so we can go home together, but instead, I saw you watching him." She glared at me. She's pointing every detail out and it hurts me even more.

"I even saw how you blush for him, and how you chased him so fast up to the Parking Lot. How you stepped back seeing him with a girl." She said, trying to carry the pain and I can feel it.

"I just knew that, I was the only one fighting for this relationship anymore." She finally broke down so bad in front of me.

I hugged her tight saying sorry to her, though I know she will try to release herself from my embrace but I don't care. She hit me at my shoulder too many times before letting me finally hug her.

When she calmed down, she looked at me with a soft face. She wiped off my tears, "Jeonghan, I know you're too scared to admit. But I know how much he means to you and I also know that you're in love with him." she softly said and held my hands.

"I don't want to hinder you anymore. At this moment, I realized that you were never in love with me. We were never in love."

"I'm not saying this with a bad taste. Of course, I am currently hurting, but both of us must accept the truth, must choose the truth, and must do what's right for both of us. Let's not fool ourselves anymore, Jeonghan. I know that the love you have for him is deeper and genuine than any other love I know."

"I know deep inside my heart that whatever we had was genuine as well. We just can't really help it when we are meant for somebody else. You're meant for Seungcheol, Jeonghan. I can feel it. Despite being hurt, I want you to be happy. With him."

"Fight for your love, Jeonghan-ah. Fight for him. Be happy, okay?" She said and she cupped my cheeks. I broke into tears. How did I manage to hurt her?

"I'm so sorry, Sowon-ah.." I lowered down my head but she lifted up my chin and she's smiling at me.

"I may be hurt right now, but it's okay. This is better than for us to hurt each other more further if we'll continue this relationship." She smiled and caressed my cheek.

"I want the best for you, Han. I want you to be happy, and I know that happiness will never come from me. Chase for your happiness, Jeonghan." She smiled and ruffled my hair. We both stood up and I give her my sweetest smile.

"You're the best part of me, Jeonghan. I hope we can still be friends after this." She said and offered me a hug which I gladly accepted.

Thanks, Sojung-ah..

-

I expected that we will end this relationship as messy as the others, but no. I hope Sowon could find the man of her dreams, and I know that's not me. She also said that she will go back to Japan with Eunwoo on Saturday.

I'm now at my apartment. I also called Eunwoo to take Sowon home. I threw myself on the bed as soon as I get in.

I took out my phone, and dialled Seungkwan's phone. "Yeoboseyo? (Hello?)" I heard Seungkwan answered.

"Seungkwan-ah.." I called his name out and bit my nails. "I think you're right." I said and hid my face under the pillow.

"Huh?" He asked, confused.

"I was too scared to admit it, Seungkwan-ah. But now, I realized, I think..." I heard a silence, meaning that I should continue and he's waiting for me to continue.

"...I think I'm inlove with Seungcheol."

And there, I heard a loud scream.

***

- 05.02.21