Suicidal Ideation『Depressed Todoroki』

#7 | Sticks And Stones, They Break Bones

"Can we see him?" Midoriya, surprisingly, stopped sobbing, but his face was tear-stained and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Unfortunately, not yet." He attempted not to grimace at the disappointed faces the students now wore, "He's not quite mentally ready for visitors other than family, and me. He'll be discharged from the hospital in a week, and staying at my place for the time being."

Students mumbled disagreeing words. Aizawa wasn't surprised; They probably wanted to check on their dual-wielder friend. Unfortunately, Shouto wasn't ready.

He pictured the eyes filled with sadness before Shouto tried to jump off the roof. Then the eyes when Shouto sat on the hospital cot looking straight to Aizawa. He looked miserable. Tired. It broke Aizawa's heart.

Shortly after, he had sent the students to sleep. It has been 12:30 AM, they were supposed to be in their dorms 30 minutes ago, although he had made an exception given the news that he shoved onto them.

He just wondered how Shouto was doing.

『✰❦✰』

As soon as Aizawa dismissed them, and sent them to their rooms, Midoriya slammed the door shut and started sobbing.

'It's my fault.'

'How did I not realize?'

'I should have known!'

How could he be a hero, if he couldn't even save his best friend? It was so obvious now that he thinks about it.

He refused to eat, wouldn't hang out with the class, always looks exhausted. 

"Oh my god. I'm so stupid. I-I didn't even r-realize! H-how d-did I n-not realize?"

Midoriya's sobs turned into wails. He wanted to scream out all of his frustration. He wanted to see him. He wanted to save him.

"Deku-kun? Are you okay?"

Oh. Uraraka.

He sat on the floor immobilized. His room wasn't locked, a rule Aizawa-Sensei made to make sure they were able to escape easily if attacked by villains. To make sure they were safe.

'But Todoroki wasn't safe. He was a danger to himself.'

The thought made Midoriya sob his heart out. He hadn't realized when the door opened, and there was a brown-haired girl kneeling next to him, rubbing circles on his back.

It reminded him of his mother.

"Deku. You need to breathe, you're okay."

"It's m-my fault! I couldn't-... I couldn't save him."

"It's not your fault. You didn't realize; None of us did either."

Midoriya could tell that Uraraka had been crying. Her face was stained with tears, and her eyes were red. But, she was trying to stay strong for him, and he appreciated it.

They stayed in silence for a while, Midoriya enjoying the comfort of the other.

"Uraraka."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Uraraka smiled a bit, at least as much as she could given the situation. She stood, gave a small wave, and left the room.

Midoriya stayed there for a while before deciding to try and sleep.

He didn't.

And the next day, he could tell by the dark circles under the other's eyes, no one else did either.

But nobody mentioned anything.

『✰❦✰』

Aizawa walked into the apartment, completely drained. He had informed his husband of Shouto's attempt and why he'd be home late.

As soon as he walked in, he collapsed onto the couch. Hizashi came shortly after and wrapped his arms around him. He enjoyed his husband's presence. 

"I don't know what to do." Aizawa started.

"Hm." Hizashi nudged for Aizawa to continue.

"He was hiding it all along. Goddammit, Hizashi he cut his wrists over and over again, and I didn't even realize. Nobody did."

"Did he tell you why?"

"His father. That bastard has been abusing him and called it training. I didn't have time to ask him when it started, but he made it seem like it had been going on forever."

"He looked so tired Hizashi. I can't believe-... I can't believe he managed to hide it for this long."

"It's okay, Sho. You saved him. He's safe because of you."

"But he almost died! He's been hurting himself over and over again under MY protection, and I didn't even notice!" Aizawa was furious at himself. 

He let Endeavor hurt a student under his care and call it "training". He got away with it under the name of "training". He scarred the kid so bad he can't even be touched without flinching violently and has it beat into him to apologize for every little thing he does. It would take years for Shouto to fully understand what his father did was wrong, and that he was now safe. But, Aizawa would be with him every step of the way.

"You're going to save him now, Sho. You will be the one to help him recover. Maybe you didn't notice before, but now you know. And I know you'll be damned before you let Endeavor lay another hand on him." There wasn't a hint of hesitation in Hizashi's voice.

It was moments like these he thinks about how lucky he was to end up with Hizashi.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

『✰❦✰』

Shouto woke up to the window displaying a beautiful sunrise outside. He looked around, remembering what happened yesterday.

If he was being honest, he's scared.

Scared he'll have to go back to his father. Scared they'll think he doesn't deserve to be in the hero course. Scared they'll give up on him.

They know. Aizawa-Sensei knows.

Shouto suddenly feels the weight that's been pushing him down all his life, lift. Someone actually believed him.

Shouto didn't have to lie anymore. He was relieved. Frankly, he didn't know if he could say "I'm fine" one more time. The lie tasted so bitter in his mouth. He hated it.

The doorknob started turning. Even though he knew it wasn't his father, he could still feel himself stiffen and his mind mentally prepared to feel pain. When the same nurse from yesterday poked her head through, relief washed over him.

"You have visitors!"

Shouto raised an eyebrow.

The nurse ducked her head back outside, and a familiar color of white hair with red spots peeked through. Quickly followed by a full head of white hair.

"Sho!" Fuyumi rushed over to her brother's bed, scanning him to make sure he was real.

"Hey, little bro!" Natsuo's cheerful voice filled the room.

Although Shouto would probably deny it, 

his lips twitched upwards at the sight of his siblings.

Words: 2075

The title is based on "What About Us" by P!nk.

Tbh, this chapter is a little rushed. Sorry, ab that!

Next chapter we have some sibling bonding! <3

Have an amazing Morning/Afternoon/Night!

✰__startover✰