Teach Me to Please | Please Me #1

FIFTY FOUR

I thought about the question for a while and scaled back in my mind. The short answer was 'yes', but why? Why did I want to start? How did I even start?

"Yes. I guess as a little girl I always loved the idea of pretending. The classic games of playing make-believe with your friends but I think I liked being alone too. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but I also like being by myself sometimes. In reality, I loved the idea of getting to live through so many different perspectives as a child, letting myself fall into hundreds of adventures, and I liked doing in with my own company. Books supplied that for me, and so once I started and let myself fall into the different words full of amazing, unique characters, I couldn't stop really."

It was the same way I thought about reading now. I loved the escape, the way it let me live so many different lives, the way I got to feel and learn so many different things. That was how I began reading, with the need for adventure and new perspectives.

Mr Wright nodded to let me know I was doing well and continued on, "Why d'you think it is so many younger people have stopped enjoying reading today?"

I thought about it for a while and answered, "I guess school can suck the fun out of it sometimes. I understand that they want us to learn and develop in our skill, I mean, it's a school, it's what they're mainly for." I laughed nervously. "However, I think that sometimes schools don't necessarily choose the right books. In my opinion, if you choose an interesting book with a good story and fun characters, children will be more interested in it and therefore more interesting in reading, but since some schools only choose the basic books mainly used for academic purposes, you lose that magic that reading supplies. So, in the long run, whenever someone thinks back on reading, they think of those boring books they were forced to read in school and never want to turn back to that again."

Mr Wright nodded once more, giving me an interested and surprised look. I was trying to speak as eloquently as I could, but my nerves were getting the better of me and I tried to remain my formality.

"Tell me about your favourite novel and why it is your favourite out of all the literary works you've read." God, why did these questions sound so fancy?

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Emma by Jane Austen." I knew he knew that based on the essay that even got me a chance at this scholarship. "I read it when I was about fourteen and fell in love with the comedic approach it had. Most classics, I feel, are a little on the serious side, but with 'Emma' it gives this informality and fun whilst still containing the elements that make up a great classic. I also liked the fact that it gives an insight into a woman who is classed as 'unconventional' to some extent, when in reality, she's just multidimensional.

I found it funny how Jane Austen herself thought that the character of Emma would be a character people wouldn't really like and, at times, you don't in a way, but she's got some many ambiguities to her she feels so real and relatable. I think that's what made people of that time deem her as a bit 'unconventional' because she was a woman written as a person with complexities and dimensions when a lot of women are written as either good or bad. There's no in-between. But Emma's clever, she's independent, she's got a mind of her own and I think as a young girl, I really looked up to that. My mom used to say that being 'unconventional' was just going against societies securities."

I had never talked about a book so much before, but I felt nice. The only time I ranted about one was to Roman in that time he wanted space but would text me to ask me about my favourite books. I probably sent paragraphs and I didn't bother to ask if he read them all. Something in me knew he did. My heart hurt a little at the thought.

"What do you find challenges you most?" Mr Wright asked the next question. Damn, did they want a list? Think Sienna. What ties everything together.

"Being myself." I said out of nowhere. Mr Wright looked up at me and furrowed a brow. Shit. I awkwardly coughed and stuttered my words a bit, but he gave me a kind smile and a nod to continue. To be honest. Okay. I could do this.