You Have Us... Always.

Chapter 21- Connecting?

The bottle cap was gripped tighter. Open. Derek nodded with a serious face and leaned forwards with his elbows resting on his knees.

"Brynn, have you ever heard of anxiety?" he asked. She nodded, not knowing where he was going with this.

"Did you know that you have anxiety?"  he received a questioning look, eyes and eyebrows furrowed.

"But anxiety is constantly being scared, isn't it?" He looked at me a little sympathetic.

"There are many forms of anxiety," he began explaining, using his hands to empathise, "everyone experiences it at least once in their lifetime whether it's for an exam or an important meeting at work etcetera."

"Some people, however, have it for the majority of their lives. Some without even realising it. There are a few things that you do that show you have anxiety. You have nervous tics, like picking at your nails or rubbing at your foot with your other, stuttering when you talk too fast or saying too much at a time, not wanting to put yourself in possible awkward situations," he got up and walked towards her.

He continued talking as he got closer and took the current bane of her existence- the water bottle- from her hands, effortlessly opening it. "Not wanting to embarrass yourself with minor things."

Her face flushed profusely as he handed the water bottle back with a smile. He sat down cross-legged on the floor in front of her, about three feet away.

"What you had yesterday, was a panic attack."

"What's a panic attack?"

"It's something that some people usually get when they're worrying over something, mostly people with anxiety. Sometimes, and in your case, the worries you were feeling subconsciously built up and when you finally noticed, you couldn't calm yourself down." He paused, giving the girl a moment to take in the information.

"Can I ask what may have caused this? Did anything happen that could have pushed you over the edge?"

She remembered Milo- Malcolm and his friends laughing at her.

Instead of actually saying that, she tried to think of a good way to describe it without looking foolish. "Some boys in my class were laughing loudly, made me think of-" she took a shaky breath in. "M-made me think of Milo."

Derek nodded looking the most understanding a human being has ever looked. "Okay and that's when you started feeling a bit wobbly?"

She nodded, taking an unstable sip of the water.

"And did anything calm you down?"

She shook her head, "not exactly. I was just really tired and zoned out during lunch, think I fell asleep or something."

"That's normal, to feel tired after an attack. Is there somewhere you can go in school to relax there?"

She shook her head again, "no, there's only the library where we eat lunch but that has a few people in it."

"Do your brothers know about this?" the girl hesitantly shook her head.

"Have you ever thought about calling them when you feel like this? Sometimes it helps to hear a voice you're attached to, like you're safer. I'm sure Brayden will understand."

She thought about it for a second then internally said no, it'd be embarrassing.

"You also know that embarrassing yourself won't be a problem either, right?"

Feeling her face flush again, she shrugged weakly. He gave her a look, "Brynn, come on. You know that your brothers wouldn't feel that way. Do you know how much they look up to you?"