Closing the distance

Chapter 8

And at today's session, when he was being a little teasing, Sonakshi had blurted out a deep complaint, one that had resided in her heart since a long time. His absence when Asha Ma passed. Dev was truly shocked at the confession. How had he not grasped this? How did he miss something this big? He knew then, he had made a huge mistake and he had to make amends, major amends. He didn't know how he was going to do that yet. But he did need to talk about it.

He picked up the phone and made a private appointment with Dr. Navya right away.

****

Sonakshi picked up the framed photo of them on her desk. Her loving husband Dev and their cute children, Suhana and Shubh. Perfect but not quite.

She had returned home couple days after the 13th day rituals were completed. Dev was his usual self, doting, playing with the kids, caring for his mother and drowned in his work. He was also a little formal with her, asking her if she was okay and taking her words at face value. It was odd. It was unlike him to be that way. He generally tended towards hounding her. But this time he didn't. His behavior those initial days after Ma's death was as if she was made of glass and would break at the slightest touch. She couldn't understand why. She was still waiting for him to realize how he had erred in leaving for a seminar when Ma was in the hospital. He hadn't said one word about it yet. Not then, not since. He seemed to have forgotten completely. She was resentful of his casual attitude towards her family.

"Sona, why don't you just talk to him about this? It's obvious he is clueless and unless you say something, he won't ever know." Jatin tried to reason with her.

"No, I am not going to say anything this time. Does he think some random person died and everything would be fine? No." She was determined to keep it this way.

"But how long do you think you will wait?"

"It doesn't matter Jatin. He can take his time. But he has to come to the realization himself. Would he have gone to that seminar if his mother had been in the hospital? Would he have been okay if I went somewhere while his mother was unwell? No. His mother is his everything. God forbid, if something happened to her, and I wasn't there, he would never forgive me. Yet, he couldn't apply the same when it came to my mother? No, Jatin, I won't say a word. I love him a lot and he is my whole world. But this? For once, let Mr. Dixit figure it out by himself." Her hurt voice was adamant. Jatin shook his head, dropping the issue.

Dev didn't figure it out.

Their life moved on. Sonakshi tried to manage her work and family as best as she could. She was glad Jatin was there to help her through any professional hurdles. Ishwari Ma helped take care of the kids, doting on them and sometimes spoiling them silly. Baba was doing much better and having little Mishti jumping around helped a lot.

She and Dev were the power couple, perfect in all ways, at least on paper. They shared all the responsibilities of the family and kids. But she was starting to get concerned about them as a couple. Were they doing well? Fact was, Dev seemed to be increasingly withdrawn from her. She couldn't understand why. They used to spend hours talking about everything under the sun. However now, he was drowned in his work, constantly on the phone or his laptop. Her husband was determined and ambitious. She knew he had a big project in Malaysia, the one he had gone to the seminar for. He was also in the process of getting into real estate here in Delhi. But he rarely provided details anymore. Her efforts to talk to him were met with a curt 'No big issue'. If she prodded more, he would say, 'Don't worry about it Sonakshi. I will deal with it.' It was tiresome. He would come home, spend time with the kids and his mother, but their own relationship seemed to be becoming more distant by the day. The worst part was that he didn't even seem to realize it. She never thought there would come a day when Dev, HER DEV would forget their wedding anniversary.

Natasha Gujral's husband had invested in Dev's township project and they now spent a lot of social time with them, going out for dinners and parties. And in one such gathering for Dev's investors, Natasha had asked her if everything was okay between her and Dev. The question had affected Sonakshi. Are other people able to see cracks in their marriage now? It made her thoughtful and worried.

Then an incident occurred that shook her to her very core. Dev wouldn't wake up. She tried to jostle him, calling his name loudly. But he just didn't move. That moment her world stopped spinning on its axis. The doctor on examination told her that Dev had overdosed on anxiety medication. That she was shocked would be an understatement. He was taking anxiety pills? Since when? And why didn't he tell her? He had been keeping things from her? Sona knew then, that she needed to take charge. Take charge of him and of their relationship, this marriage. She made appointments with a psychiatrist for an evaluation of his anxiety as well as any other issues that may be lurking and a marriage counselor to figure out the emotional distance in their relationship right away.

Dev was reluctant at first, but gave in. They were doing well during the marriage counseling sessions until today, when she let it slip about her mother's death. Dev looked quite taken aback, which hurt her more. So, this was a surprise for him, that she was upset about his absence? But as hurt as she was, she couldn't let him get stressed any more due to this.

She picked up the phone and made a private appointment with Dr. Navya right away.