Bruises ? Luke Hemmings a.u

One.

It's a healthy reminder that our age gap isn't so big after all, and I often find my thoughts always coming back to him. Even in times I would never admit aloud to anyone, when he's at the forefront of my brain while my fingers have worked myself into bliss under my duvet at night.

I know it's wrong. Forbidden. And I know I probably need some form of therapy at some point, by someone who will probably state it's because of some unresolved daddy issues, or other childhood trauma, like losing my mum so young, but I can't help myself. It's like my own fucked up dirty little secret, my own fucked up fantasy, just for me.

Right now, I like fantasising. He's everything I want in a man. He's sweet and he's kind. He takes care of me and he actually listens to me. If it wasn't so wrong, I could fall in love with him, and it would be so easy to do so. He's so attentive, and caring, and treats me like no one else ever could.

And it's oh so easy to fantasise.

I often wonder what it would have been like if he never married my mum. If I just met him in a bar or something and we hit it off. I day dream about it sometimes, wishing I could re-write our story. But it's all futile. That isn't our reality. No matter how much wish it could have been.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I get small glimpses of him. Sometimes it's in the way he speaks to me, or his small innocent touches. Sometimes he makes me feel like he doesn't see my as his step-daughter. It's these small sometimes that make me wonder how he see's me.

Am I just a young girl to him that is in his care, or am I a woman he just happens to live with by some unfortunate circumstances? Of course the notion of me even questioning something like this is ridiculous.

He is Luke. Luke, my step-dad.

And I am Helen. Helen, who has to keep her thoughts to herself.

"Guys like him aren't 'just friends' with girls like you, Hel-bel."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, my voice a little too defensive, and it seems like I always have to stick up for Calum in the limited conversations Luke and I have about him.

He sighs, taking his attention from Calum and turning to me. "Nothing. Have a good day, Darlin'," he says, giving me a small smile.

"You too," I tell him, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "And good luck with the case," I tell him, referring to the case he has been working on for the last sixteen months.

Luke is a good solicitor, but this case has been challenging for him, and I hope he wins it. He's worked so hard on it. You can tell just by looking at him, with the dark circles under his eyes, he looks like he hasn't slept in days, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and find him in his home office, working on it late into the night.

I think he's working so hard on it because it may hit close to home for him. A young girl about my age is trying to send her rapist to prison, but no one believes her. No one but Luke that is, and he just wants justice for the girl and her parents. He made a passing comment about it to me, saying how he needs to get the guy locked up because it could have been any girl in my age group, and he may do it again if he isn't punished for his crime, and rehabilitated.

Luke deserves to win it, but it's more than that to him. He want's the bastard to rot behind bars.

He gives me a small smile. "Thank you."

I get out of the car and walk up to Calum. The cold weather making the tanned skin of his cheeks and nose red. His chocolate brown hair is waved, just falling past his ears.

"Hey, babe," he grins, and kisses me on the corner of my mouth, his soft plump lips making me blush slightly, knowing he has just done that in front of Luke, not really helping with the whole 'we're just friends' lie that easily slipped out from my mouth to Luke.

I give Calum a small smile before turning around to Luke, and I see that he's scowling at Calum, but when I give him a small wave goodbye, I am rewarded with a tight smile before he starts up the engine and drives away.

"Jeez, that guy really has it out for me, huh?" Calum says.

"He's just over protective," I explain as Calum snakes both of his arms around my back and pulls me into him.

"Well, now that he's gone, I can greet you properly," he smiles, before placing his lips over mine. It's a gentle kiss. One reserved for public eyes only. Nothing compared to how he kisses me the in privacy of his flat.

Sighing happily into the kiss, I wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his dark brown locks.

"God, get a room," someone says, making us pull apart only to find that it's Brooke, smirking at the two of us as she pushes her caramel coloured hair out of her dark brown eyes, fighting against the Autumn wind, her tiny frame no match to the gusty weather.

"Don't be jealous, Brooke," Calum teases her, sending a playful wink her way.

She rolls her eyes and scoffs. "Sorry Calum, but the only reason I am jealous of Helen is because she gets to live with that hunk of a man she calls her step-daddy. Speaking of," she looks around. "How have I missed him again? Dammit!" she laughs.

Brooke has repeatedly expressed her attraction to my stepdad, regardless of the fact that she has a boyfriend. And she has a lack of filter that makes Luke feel awkward when she comes around to our house. She isn't afraid to say what she's thinking, even if that is to tell Luke he has 'fuck me eyes' at the dinner table, making Luke choke on his chicken.

Calum rolls his eyes at Brooke before turning his attention to me. "So, after college, my place? You could just lie to your dad, tell him your revising at the library or some shit."

"Stepdad," I clarify, "And there's no need. He un-grounded me this morning."

"How nice of him," he says flatly, then kisses me on the cheek. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, see ya," I say as I watch him walk off towards the college doors.

"God, I hate that guy," Brooke finally says once he's out of earshot, coming to stand by my side.

I sigh. "I know you do."And I'm unsure of where the hatred for Calum comes from. He's never been anything but lovely to me, ever since I met him in class last year. He's polite, and friendly, and it's easy to be around him. He doesn't pry about my life, and it's just simple between us.

"I just don't understand why you go out with him. You could have anyone you want," she tells me, tucking her hair behind her ears in a another futile attempt to battle against the wind.

I almost laugh at her words, because it's ironic that the only person I want, I can never have.

He's forbidden.

"We're just friends, Brooke. I've told you."

She sets off walking towards the college building, and I follow her, walking by her side. "Yeah," she scoffs, "Sure you are."

"We are. Honestly. Calum, is nothing but a good fuck," I say simply. And a distraction from what I can never have.

She grins. "I don't blame you. If I were you, I think I would need an easy fuck at the end of the night too, if I had to look at Luke all day, knowing I could never have him," she says, as if she can read my thoughts.

I hit her arm playfully. "You're disgusting," I say, because I can never tell her just how right she really is.