Call My Name

C27: Run Away

"You are blushing." She whispered only enough for me to hear.

"Aniya.It's just hot here." I unzipped my jacket and fanned myself.

"Okay, love birds, stop flirting in front of us." Sana interrupted our moment, and I felt my face heating up more.

"Look at Limario's face. It looks like it will explode soon." Jisoo laughed out loud.

I smacked her in the back of the head, and she glared at me. They laugh and continue eating.

I felt someone looking at me, and I caught Rosé looking at me with sad eyes. She quickly smiled, but it was a forced smile. She shifted her focus to her food.

Why does she look like she's hurting?

•••

Roseanne

I already lost without fighting.

It hurts to see her happy with someone who is not me. Why did Jennie choose to like Lisa out of all the billions of people on the planet?

Sooner or later, they will be together, and I will hurt more.

Our class ended, and I don't have any plans to attend our training today. I need to breathe and forget about them for a moment.

I was about to exit the school gate when suddenly someone held my wrist.

"Where are you going?" It's Lisa.

"I have somewhere I need to go." I answered.

"Are you not going to attend our training?" She inquired, and I shook my head. "Chaeng, if there is something wrong, you can tell me."

"Really?" I asked, and she nodded.

"I promise I will listen and help you if I can." She gave me a smile that never failed to make my heart flutter.

"Lisa?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm hurting." She looked at me worriedly.

"Where? Tell me." I let go of her grip on my wrist and touch her side face.

You can see the numbers, but you can't see the colors and even my feelings for you." She furrows her eyebrows.

"What are you saying, Chaeng?" I shook my head and let go of her face.

As I run away from her, tears started to flow from my eyes.

"Park Chaeyoung!" She shouted my name, but I didn't bother to look back and continue running away from her.

I smiled when I heard her calling me by my full name again. I still remember the day I fell in love with her.

Flashback

I'm waiting for Lisa to arrive at our usual place, which is the public park. I was sitting in the swing when suddenly someone pushed me.

"You've been sitting there since earlier. Let us sit here too." The boy sat in the swing and started swaying.

I got up off the ground and walked away. Suddenly, I heard someone shout my Korean name.

"Park Chaeyoung!" It's Lisa.

She was waving with so much enthusiasm and she ran towards me.

"Why are you so dirty?" She asked as she patted my clothes to remove the dirt.

"It's nothing." I said, and she shook her head.

"We promise each other not to keep secrets from each other. I already told you my secret that only you and my family know. So tell me what happened. " She looked at me worriedly.

"A boy pushed me off the swing." I said, and she quickly ran to the swing.

I saw her push the boy off the swing while glaring at him. She ran back to me with a huge grin on her face.

I already taught him a lesson. He won't mess with you anymore. If he messes with you again, call my name and I will take care of it for you. " She patted my head and smiled widely. 

"You didn't have to do that."

"I have to because you look extra pretty today and he ruined it. Your dress is full of dirt now. Let's go to your house and I will play with you the whole day. "

"Can you stay a night as well?" She smiled and nodded.

"I will if that's what my baby chipmunk wants." She reached for my hand and held it tightly. "Let's go."

"Let's go."

End of Flashback.

Her sweet and kind antics made me fall for her. She was always there for me, protecting me and staying beside me.

We know each other so much, we tell each other secrets, and we are always together.

However, I'm not fully honest with her. I never told her my deepest secret, which is that I'm in love with her.

She can see when I'm sad and hurting, but she can't see the reason why I'm sad and hurting.

I thought she just couldn't see colors because she is colorblinded, but she also can't see my feelings for her either, no matter how hard I try to send her a lot of signals.

"It's sad to be stuck in one-sided love."