Let's go.

Part One: The Bus

We walk along the concrete corridor of the backstage area and the music from the stage is still blaring. Men with long hair are rushing back and forth hauling amps and various musical equipment. Mandy and I plaster ourselves against one of the corridor walls while a couple of roadies carry a huge amp past us. We turn and giggle at each other at the excitement of being backstage.

It is the first time I actually get a good look at Mandy. When we first met she was shoved up against the stage with a mosh pit at her back. I now notice how young she is. She is probably in her early twenties and I immediately begin to feel a bit self-conscious. "You are so pretty!" I yell at her over the music. She smiles and self-consciously pushes her long, blonde hair back behind her ear. "Thanks! You are so gorgeous!" She yells back at me. I laugh and we hook arms as we continue down the corridor to the party.

We finally make it to the room where the party is supposed to be. It is filled to capacity with people and it is standing room only. There is a couch in the corner, cheap beer on a long table up against the wall and people pouring in and out constantly. Mandy and I push our way inside the packed room and head for the table with the beer. I am parched and eagerly guzzle down the room temperature beer.

After finishing the beer, I notice that Mandy is no longer by my side. I begin to scan the room looking for her, when I see her leaning up against the wall talking to Alice in Chains' tall drummer. I smile into my beer and begin to take in my surroundings.

The room is filled with people in their early to mid twenties. I can feel the excitement and hope that surrounds the band. They haven't hit it big yet but I can tell from the buzz in the room that they will. I tell myself that this is one of those experiences you get to tell your kids about, "yeah, I saw Alice in Chains live in '91," I will say.

While prematurely reminiscing about the day I am currently living, I notice the singer is sitting on the ratty couch against the wall. He isn't paying attention to the people around him or the pretty young woman who is eagerly pressed against his arm. He is shirtless, in the same cut-off jean shorts and dirty Converses he had been wearing while performing earlier. The room is bright with overhead lights, and the man has dark sunglasses on and seems to be in another world.

Then he slowly looks up, feeling my eyes on him, and smiles a slow smile at me. I smile slowly back and he raises a finger to wave at me. I smile and return the cheeky finger wave back at him. He continues smiling at me. The young girl follows his eyeline, becomes territorial, and quickly returns to her pursuit of him with a renewed vigor.

I lean up against the beer table and as I crack open the top of another beer, I feel someone press against my left arm. It's the guitarist from earlier trying to reach a beer that I am blocking.

"Hey." I whisper softly in greeting. The room is loud and I wonder if he heard me when he replies, "hey," in return. We lock eyes for a moment and I realize that this isn't the type of boy I am used to. He doesn't come from a wealthy family, he hasn't had everything given to him--he has endured struggles and pain, and has made his dream come true.

We stand there while all this bullshit is running through my mind, all the while holding each other's gaze. I realize that this also isn't the kind of boy who brings you flowers. He is sizing me up to see if I'm interested and if I'm not, he will move on to someone else who is. This boy doesn't have the time or the energy to play games or flirt. And god damn it, after what I have been through with my ex, I just want someone to see me, want me, and fuck me.

I realize he is asking me my name. I reply "Does it really matter?" He laughs a low, throaty laugh and says, "Actually it does." I chuckle at his surprisingly endearing reply and say that I'll tell him later. He instantly understands the invitation. He responds by grabbing my hand, lacing his fingers through mine, and then pulling me from the packed room into the corridor that Mandy and I had walked through earlier.