unbroken (unexpected series)

Chapter 50.5

“Because I can’t be like other mates!” I shouted cutting him off, my chest heaving up and down rapidly, “They thought I could hurt someone! They knew me” I pointed to my chest roughly.

“The white coats… they – they thought I would hurt someone like they hurt – punished – me,” I corrected myself.

Grant sat forward, his elbows on his knees, “They wanted you to give out punishments?”

I nodded, my mouth so dry, my memories flooding my mind.

“But you didn’t want too?”

I shook my head, my jaw clenched tightly.

“What happened when you didn’t want too?”

my bottom lip shook, he didn’t understand, none of them knew.

Tell them, Nyx thought.

“What happened when you didn’t want to do to others what was done to you Kieran?” Grant asked once again.

Panting, I released the grip I had on the ends of the sofa, one hand flying to my chest, “I – I ran.”

Grant blinked, “You ran?”

Nodding, “I – I – I couldn’t… I didn’t want too. So I – I – I knew the codes – I escaped.” I whispered, he would know the truth now.

“You were locked up?”

I nodded.

“Did you – Kieran did you always know how to escape?” his blue eyes full of something I saw when I spoke to Oakley. That look that made me want to lay myself a her feet and just tell her everything inside me, that hurt, that burned… that made me want to hide.

I couldn’t escape though, didn’t he understand? “Kieran, did you stay because you believed you were bad?” panting I could barely exhale without my body jerking.

“But you left – you escaped when you thought they were going to make you hurt someone?” I nodded. Grant rested back, his eyes watery, clearing his throat, I could see him swallow and the veins in his neck seemed to thicken.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that Kieran,” he said after a moment, blindsiding me once again. Trust? Was that what I was doing by telling him such little details? And in a small part of my brain, I registered that nothing happened. I told him something, and he was still right in front of me, he wasn’t agreeing or even looking at me with pity or judgment, instead he was thanking me.

“Kieran, are you okay?” I nodded mechanically not understanding.

Sighing Grant leaned forward slowly, “Why didn’t you just go along with what they wanted you to do Kieran?”