More Than Enough || Toru Oikawa X Reader

|94| Shall We?

You're taking breath now and then but that just you trying to control your hyperventilation. Your father can see how you're having trouble breathing but how you're also shaking.

"But then the whole thing with Tyler happened and that just put so much more weight on my back and every time I tried to talk about it or ask for help, it's alway you and everyone telling me that it's no big deal or that I'm overthinking!" you complain while crying, "You--Mom... Fuck. Everyone. Fucking every single person keeps putting on this weight on my shoulder. I want to help and be of service or else I'll feel fucking useless but FUCK! It's too much! And I'm terrified that if I make one bad move everything is over! I have to be careful with every single thing I do--And--I--" you have so much to say.

You have a lot to say. You have so much to tell him. So much things too vent. You have a lot of complains. But the words wouldn't come out. You've been holding everything back. You have been since you were a kid so letting it out is just something that's hard for you to do. You don't even know where to start or what to say.

You cough as your throat is in pain but also dry from trying to hold back the tears which are already showing. Your father grabs you and quickly pulls you in a hug, "It's my fault..." your father whisper quietly as he rubs your back as you cry, "Is that why you ran away?" your father ask, "Because you're afraid to disappoint me and your mother?" your mother ask you.

You pull back and cough once again. You wipe your tears and shake your head, "At first but now with Tyler..."

"You think he's here?" your father ask as he helps you wipe your tears.

"I'm scared pa...." you admit, "I don't want to disappoint anyone but at the same time, I don't want to be in the same room as him. I'm scared. Every single one of my performance, no matter how far they are or where they are, he's alway there. He coming for me and I don't want to be with him. I don't want to go to him. I don't---"

"On my life, I promise you. I swear it. Tyler won't get anywhere near you nor will your mother or I ever be disappointed in you," your father promises, "You are important to us and we love you. Everything you do make us proud. All we want from you is to be happy. Our happy, bright little girl. No matter how old you get, you'll alway be our little and there's nothing you can do to disappoint us," your father assures.

"I just feel likes I'm not doing enough. That I'm not enough---"

"No. You are enough," your father declares, "You will alway be enough."

"I'm just the unlucky girl, pa," you remind him with tears.

"You're not unlucky--"

"Yes, I am!" you yell, "I have alway been! I have picked my family instead of an object that was placed on the ground in front of me as a child. I defended a kid in my school. I went up against the wrong kids. I got the attention of a fucking sociopath. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time which lead me to being raped and then pregnant! I was then stabbed in the stomach, beaten, got a cut on my neck, raped once again. And then a miscarriage. I was too traumatized that I forced myself to forget those events. I wouldn't testified in court about it. And then I because that bastard's fucking bird. Escaped. Went back into that shit hole. Everything was falling down one by one! And it was all because of me!" you cry.

"It's me," you repeat, "It has alway been me...." you raise your hand to your face, "Every misfortune that has happened to this family is because of me! Leo was drugged. Xavier had his hand crushed and was thrown off a roof. Eric was beaten and stabbed multiple times. Jia-Li and Sophiya was going to be gang raped if it weren't for Xiao and Jun who were there to protect her. Mark was chased around by older kids with metal baseball bats who were going to beat him up to and leave him for dead. Arthur was ran over by a fucking car. And the kids were sent to the fucking hospital because they has some sort of food poison in there meals! My friends and family were all put in danger because of me!" you cry as you need your father to understand that.