All Because Of A Raid(Ranboo x ftm reader)

~17~

~~~time skip~~~

Its been a few hours since Y/n and I woke up, I'm still thinking about what N/n said about liking someone. It's honestly so confusing, like why can't I just know if I like someone or not. Y/n is streaming on my set up right now, once or twice a week he streams but that changes sometimes and chat knows. Chat doesn't know that we meet up at all yet, and we plan to keep that private for a long time.

I get bored and pull out my phone, I open up discord and go to my group chat with Tommy and Toby and ask, you guys wanna vc? They both responded with sure.

Ranboo will look like this
Tommy will look like this
Tubbo will look like this

"Hey guys how are you?
"I'm doing good man, how are you?"
"I'm doing pretty well too"
"Im doing decent, tho I could be doing better."
"Is everything ok?"
"Yeah I just have feelings that I'm not sure I'm supposed to be feeling."
"Mark I'm gonna be real with you, all feelings have a reason to be there, and I'm sure you feelings are valid."
"Do you wanna talk about it or would you rather try to solve it on your own?"
"Honestly I think I might need your guy's help."
"Well then, what's the feeling your feeling?"
"You guys have to promise not to laugh or make fun of me fore this."
"Promise"
"Promise"
"I'm pretty sure I like like Y/n....."
"Dude thank you for telling us, but you're the last to know."
"Yeah.... He's not wrong"
"Wait so you guys don't care that I like Y/n?"
"Well duh man, it's your life plus,  just because you're both dudes doesn't mean you still can't like each other."
"Yeah man, you're a chill person and just because you like guys doesn't change that, now Y/n finished streaming go get your man."
"I agree go get your boyfriend."

*ding*
*ding*

And with that they left the call. I was stuck trying to fill out the pros and cons sheet in my head about what would happen if I confessed my maybe feelings for N/n. It wasn't long till I heard footsteps from behind me, I was think thinking it was Y/n, but turns out it was my dad.
"Hey dad" "Hello, did you ask Y/n out yet" "Heh, what do you mean?" "Mark I'm not dumb, I see the way you look at them, it's very clear you like him, and I'm pretty sure he likes you back." "Wait so you're ok with me maybe liking guys and girls?" "Son you do realize that your mom is pan and I'm also bi." "Wait what, why was this never told to me!" "Your mother and I didn't think it was important for you to know"
"Ok then, well I'm gonna go in my room, bye" "bye, love you son" "love you to dad"

I knocked on my bedroom door, yes I know it's my room but I was making sure it was ok for me to go in just in case Y/n was still streaming or doing a Twitter space. I heard a faint come in. I walked in the door and Y/n was sitting on my bed crying.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" "M- my dead name got leaked and a bunch of haters found out and just started spamming it in chat but my mods can't ban all of them, and for some reason the command to ban words isn't working, then on Twitter they are just constantly spamming me with it." "Here hand me your phone" They unlocked their phone and handed it to me. I went over to his apps and deleted Twitter. "There, now you won't have to look at the notifications, and now we are gonna cuddle and watch movies/YouTube videos, or is there something else you wanna do?" "Earlier, and I kinda mean like 3 a.m. I told my friend Jasper that I would play Minecraft with them when they got back from school." All of a sudden Y/n's phone started buzzing like crazy. It was from his friend Jasper, I handed them the phone so he could answer. Once he answered I only heard a handful of hums and worried are you ok's. Then I heard a loud beep from the phone as it dropped from Y/n's hands. Tears started streaming faster and there where a lot more this time. I was quick to pull him into a hug and rub circles on their back. I could tell that today was a hard day for Y/n and that it's definitely not the time to tell him that I might have feelings for them.
I pulled him down next to me still holding onto them tight letting him know that I'm not going anywhere. I finally asked if he wanted to say what Jasper had told them.

"Th- they-they're gone..." "who's gone?" "Jasper, turns out they were in the hospital and wanted to play Minecraft with me one more time before they died." "Hey, it's gonna be ok, it's not your fault." "BUT IT IS! I LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING TILL AFTER I WAS GONE, WE ONLY HAD EACH OTHER, THEIR MENTAL HEALTH WASN'T GOOD WHEN I LEFT AND I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! THEY WERE BEING BULLIED BUT I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING! it's my fault their gone, it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault." He kept repeating that till I butted in, "Y/n listen to me, it is NOT your fault, it's not your fault they died, it's not your fault they had a bad mental health, it's not your fault that they were being bullied. They might be gone, but you have to realize that you don't have to worry about their mental health, you don't have to be the reason their alive, you shouldn't have to worry about them taking the forever nap just because you left. It's not your fault." He just kept sniffling but they nodded in acknowledgment. I pulled him closer, continuing to rub circles on his back. "Can you get my bear stuffie?" "Yeah let's go get him" I carefully picked up the sniffling Y/n and carried them to his room where he grabbed his bear and motioned for me to come lay by them on the bed. I layed down by them, and without missing a heartbeat Y/n pulled himself into my chest. I just wrapped my arms around them letting them know that it was gonna be ok.

Y/n POV

I wasn't sure how to process that my best friend that I've known since I was 4 had died. I just couldn't understand why they had left, from what I knew they were healthy physically, and I thought that they wouldn't actually overdose if I left. I thought that it would be ok, we were still best friends. I tried to clear my mind so I started to focus on my surroundings, like my lights and how the color of my walls is slightly different when I changed the colors of my lights. A few minutes later I felt Marks breathing slow down and his grip on me slightly loosen. I was a bit sad when I didn't feel the tightness of his grip around me. I was laying there when his breath passed right by my ear and down my neck straight to my heart, I had little tiny bumps all over my skin from the simplest motion of air, I was quite literally falling for this boy, and when I mean falling, I mean falling fast, I slowly started to drift off to sleep in the arms of one of the people who mean the most to me.

[2104 words]

That was a bit of a chapter, firstly I wanna say thank you for all the reads and votes, you all have no idea how much it means to me it's honestly so insane that we have 15.1k reads on this book! I started this as a way for me to feel slightly more valid in my gender identity, but know I'm seeing that a lot of people are enjoying this story. I figured that I might as well make this a bit of a longer chapter since I've been gone for a while, and I'm also still gonna have a weird upload schedule because I've got a lot of stuff in my personal life going on. I love you all, make sure to take care of yourself, and if you're in a bad situation it will get better, I love you all, byeeee <33