Returning Red

session 06/06

"If it's unopened, why are they still there?" Katherine stopped smiling and I know I've annoyed her now. I will get over this. I just need a little more time. 

I sigh, as I prepare myself. I pull out a brown notebook from my bag and I open it to its first page. Katherine glances at it as I pull out a pen. Lily is peeking from between the two front seats into the notebook. I smoothen the first page which has a list of questions. I pull my phone out and I keep the voice recorder ready. 

"Are you recording me?" She asks gawking at my phone and turning to the road. 

I smile, "Not yet," I look at Lily and she giggled. "Welcome to the last session of our therapy. Today, I'm your journalist and you are my interviewee." 

"So we're switching places now?" She scoffed shaking her head. 

"To some extent, yes," I shrug. "I have this article I need to write about women breaking the glass ceiling, and I speculated for about five seconds before deciding to write about you." 

Katherine was resisting a smile on her face as she stared at the road. I knew she was amused by my decision and she was already telling me to choose a better person inside my head, but I was adamant with clarity and strength about my choice. 

"What's breaking the glass ceiling?" Lily quietly asked me. 

I turned to look at her. "Glass ceiling is this concept that is often referred to for women who want to reach great heights in their careers but the glass ceiling is enforced upon them like a barrier, stopping them from becoming the best." Lily nodded, thoroughly focused. "There are some women who in spite of this imposed glass ceiling, have strived and become inspiring leaders. These women have broken the glass ceiling. Dr. Katherine Carlyle, is one of them, right?" I grin at Lily.

"Absolutely." She says. 

"And so, we're unveiling her story." I grin more as I press the recording on and I glance at my first question. "Dr. Katherine Carlyle, ready?"

She huffed and gripped the steering wheel, "Whenever you are." She grinned too, without taking her eyes off the road. 

"Your first question, how would you describe yourself?" I ask her.

I see expressions change on her face like the changing colors of the dusk sky. "I'm blue." She said softly. I blinked. "I would describe myself as blue. I'm blue like the ocean, silent secrets stretching to great depths. I'm blue like gas flames that burn in higher temperatures than normal ones. I'm blue like the Adderall pills I took in high school that made me focus on myself and not the world around me. I'm blue like my husband's shirt which had red lipstick marks of betrayal. I'm blue like my daughter's room walls, even though purple is what she preferred. I'm blue like a cold, frozen mind, denying being devoid of color and amidst all this, I'm also blue like the sky, endless and vast. I'm blue like a tulip, rare and eye-catching. I'm blue like a moon, awaited and attractive. I'm blue like the eyes of a boy, who this girl I know is inevitably in love with. I'm blue and numb on some days and on others, I'm just blue and serene. I'm that blue in a traffic light, not knowing where to stop, where to wait, and where to go. I'm that blue in a blueberry dessert that looks purple. I'm that high blue wave that crashes on the sea because it rose so high, and yet, continues to rise. I'm an ice phoenix, born in blue, and yet, it is known to be red. Blue is everything and nothing. I'm blue, even though my favorite color is yellow." 

For reasons unknown, I cannot look away from her. Of course, I didn't expect Katherine Carlyle to give me one-word answers, but I never imagined her answers to have so much hidden meaning inside them. I clear my throat, trying not to get too involved with the first answer because there is so much I want to know now. Her way of thinking grips me, fascinates me, lures me to keep shooting questions and I never want her to stop answering.