Unbroken || Dan Howell x reader

Chapter 16

After what seemed like a couple hours, I don't think I was really looking rather than just thinking. I was mindlessly walking around the city by myself, just thinking about a lot of things. Mostly (y/n). I guess I had started crying, when I finally realized what I was doing my face was covered in tears. Looking at my phone, it was nearly ten o'clock. I quickly wiped away the water on my face and trudged home.

~two days later~

~~your POV~~

I was sat on the couch in my apartment, trying to balance my phone on my knee while I flicked through the channels on tv.
Nothing good was ever on, so I groaned and picked up my laptop. Once I realized it was almost dead, I groaned again.

'Ugh, I think I left my charger at Dan and Phil's place.'

I sighed and lifted myself up off the couch, then headed across the hall.

I opened the door and shut it loudly behind me.

"PHHHIILLLLL?" I shouted from the front door. When nobody answered, I went into the lounge to get my charger back. I was just unplugging it when I heard a deep voice behind me.

"You know your trespassing, right?"
I jumped and turned around, relieved to see it was only Phil.

"You asshole! You scared the shit out of me!" I panted, holding my hand against my chest. He laughed.

"Sorry (y/n). Is that all you needed?"
"Yes, thank you. Sorry for barging in like that."
"No problem, sorry for scaring you." Phil smiled at me and headed back up to his room.

I was just getting out of the front door when I bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry!--" I instinctively said, then looked up to see it was Dan. I immediatly looked back down.
"Sorry, that was my fault." He reached up and combed his fringe with his fingers.

There was a pause before either of us said anything.
"Uh, I should get going..." I made my way around him in the cramped space and went to open my door.
He reached out and put his hand on the doorknob, which also had my hand on it.

"(Y/n), can we talk? Please?" He looked down at me with his chocolate brown eyes.

".. Sure... I guess..." I couldn't say no to him. I pushed open the door and quickly pulled my hand away from his.

He walked in behind me and stood a few steps from the doorway. I placed my laptop charger on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. When I didn't say anything he came over and sat on the couch, on the other end. I could feel the tension in the room.

"So... How've you been? I haven't seen you in a few days." He looked at me.
"I'm fine. ... You?" I asked awkwardly.
"Same... "

"How are things with you and Jessica...?" I'm not quite sure why I asked him. Curiosity got the best of me I guess.

"Oh uh.... We... broke up yesterday... I caught her with some other guy at a coffee shop downtown..." He looked down at the ground.

"Sounds familiar." I stared at the wall, and I could see he looked at me with the corner of my eye.
"Yeah, I guess I deserved it...." He looked down at the ground and smirked at himself.

"Look, (y/n)... I truly am sorry. I messed up. I never should have said those hateful words to you at that party. I never meant any of it." He turned and faced me.

"It kinda seemed like you meant it when you said you hated me."

'(Y/n)! Shut up! He's trying to apologize, and you're making it worse!'

But I couldn't stop myself, the words just came out.

"You looked me dead in the eye and told me you never wanted to see me again, that you hated me. Every word that came out of your mouth shattered me into millions of pieces. I mean, I guess I loved you more than you loved me."

I had promised myself I wouldn't cry, I had done way too much of that lately. But eventually, a few came running down my cheeks.

Dan stared at me like I had just killed his puppy.
"You know that's not true. At all. I loved you so much (y/n), and I still do! I couldn't handle the fact that you could have been cheating on me, so I freaked out and made my own stupid decisions. I wish we never even went to that fucking party. That was the worst night of my entire life." He cupped his face in his hands and looked down at the ground.

"Yeah well, it wasn't too great for me either." I said sarcastically, which I guess made him laugh. He smiled and looked back at me.

"I truly am sorry, (y/n). I know me going out with Jessica hurt you even more, and I don't even know why I did. I guess I just couldn't handle being alone. When you were in the hospital, and I thought you were going to die... I felt so empty. I didn't want to feel like that, ever again. So I started seeing Jessica. Pretty pathetic, huh?" He laughed at himself.

I didn't know how to reply, so we sat in silence for what seemed like eternity. Then Dan finally spoke up.

"I know we can't go straight back into being together... but could we atleast try to be friends again? I really miss just talking to you, and I know Phil wants us all to be able to hang out again." He looked over at me.

"... Yeah, I'd like that..." I answered him, and he smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

We talked for a little longer, then Dan brought up food.
"Hey, do you want to start lunch? I'm starving." He held his stomach.
"I'm not really that hungry." I answered him. Then of course at that moment, my stomach growled. Pretty loudly too.

He laughed. "You sound pretty hungry to me (y/n)." He stood up and went to go look in the fridge. He came back in with a box of leftover pizza and plopped it on the table.

"Here, you start. I'm going to go get Phil." He turned on his heel and walked out the door. Soon enough, he came back in with Phil right behind him. They both sat on the couch to the right of me, with Dan in the middle.

We put on the tv and started watching an episode of the Simpsons when Dan reached for the pizza. Him and Phil grabbed a slice, then Dan looked at me.

"You gonna have some?"
"Oh, yeah, sure..." I picked up the slice of pizza and ate around half of it, then put it back down.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." I stood up and started to walk away.

After I had locked the door, I leaned over the toilet and stuck two fingers down my throat.

'If it doesn't digest, then I won't get fatter.'

Once I was finished, I flushed the toilet twice, just to make sure, and washed my hands. I looked at myself in the mirror and placed my hand on my stomach.

'Skip dinner, get thinner.'

I checked the toilet once more, then went back out to join the boys. I smiled at Dan, who was looking at me, concerned.

"You okay?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I'm fine!" I sat back down on the couch, and we continued to watch the Simpsons. Dan wouldn't take his eyes off of me.

'I gotta be more careful.'

~~~~,,,

Ayeeeee so this was a late upload :$ sorry bout that! I got really tired and didn't have enough energy to finish typing it.

I really appreciate everyone who's been keeping up with this story. It makes me happy knowing you guys want more chapters!

Love you! <3

~breanna