Get In Line

Part 4 - Dawn of a New Chapter

It went very fast from then on. I went over to her house. Pieter and Lola had arranged that much, sneaky them! I couldn't even be mad at them. It turns out there was a spark between our eyes, that she had felt as much as I. And that she had seen me multiple times as I went with Lola to her work. It was a coincidence, but it seemed so well-orchestrated by fate that it made me laugh a little.
Her name was Francie, 'Belle Francie' on the stage. She had a beautiful cat. Very fluffy, very high-maintenance. I always feared I'd hurt him if I pet him. But he seemed fine with it.
I helped her make soup on the first night.
She helped me move in on the second week.
I got the courage to confess my feelings to her on the third month.

It was mutual. I couldn't be happier.
While I had heard Lola joke about how Francie would only date people for their money, I knew I had none. I doubted there was anything but my heart she could take from me, and she already had that from the night I stood at the edge of the stage.
Francie seemed to agree with me on that. 'She loved me for my heart' she said. 'and nothing else'.
I hoped I was gentle enough for her.
These hands held the blood of tens, hundreds. I wondered how a thief could love a murderer.
But we did. And there was no malice, no mistrust, no lies or deceits.
Granted, sometimes I got a little jealous over her earlier husbands... I was here, I had been here for how long? And they were all old and ugly in the pictures...
Something didn't click with all the fancy clothes and expensive dates we all went to, where I didn't know the use of five forks and she would laugh at me and feed me the little meals and I'd sip her some of the vodka I ordered; my only memory of home. Aside from the scarf.
It was smart of her to save up her money, but to me she would look as beautiful in rags as she would in her velvet dresses she would shop for, or the necklace of pearls she would wear to bed.
Pearls. And nothing else.

I had access to a wealth I didn't know what to do with, and with someone and friends who loved me, who introduced me to more friends; more men unfortunate enough to survive the toils of war and more beautiful women that danced in the same bar. One of them, too, was Russian. She'd left right when the war started to go after her now-husband, a man with a glass eye. From that kinship I learned it was a little safer there now... and I learned my family was still alive.
I was home. This was my second home. And I kept wondering how it was there, so I regularly sent letters. I'd finally found the address... I was scared out of my mind when I put my first letter to the post, fearing the repercussions of the letter falling into the hands of the enemy.
But if they did not, and it was just fear, it would fall into the hands of my sisters.
And that's what I wanted.

I think I proposed to Francie when it was autumn. Or early winter. The leaves were golden brown and falling. I'd found some use in cleaning up the park after an unfortunate run-in with the police, after getting angry and having a fight with Francie... about her previous husbands. I still blame myself for that.
But, I liked the park, and keeping an eye out there and keeping it clean worked well for me. It was calm in the park, calmer than in the city. The passing of the trams gave me chills. I remember blacking out and waking up under the park bench holding a broom. Pieter was there and he told me I was making machine-gun noises for minutes on end. I don't know where the broom came from.
I remember laying awake at night and not being able to get the faces of people out of my head, Francie would clutch herself to me until I calmed down and fell asleep. She always smelled a little like lavender.
The job also gave me time to read the letters back I got from my sisters. They were safe. They got a new farm, new cows, that they named after my friends. I still laugh at that. Natalya had called the bull Lola by accident... the dancing-Lola didn't seem to appreciate it that much. Pieter found it hilarious.
I had found the ring at the edge of the river in the park. After I washed the mud off I found it had a beautiful blue gem in there, a little light twinkled in it...
And as I ran home after I was done, and Francie was having a little get-together with her friends, and I fell to my knees and proposed to her- in Russian, it was the adrenaline- she stared at me with her mouth agape and her hands to her face, and she shook her head.

My heart sank down to my knees.
And then she got out a ring of her own.

We were married shortly after outside, by the church with the trees under the autumn sun. She wore the prettiest white dress I had ever seen. I wore a suit, a little flower on the top and my scarf over my tie. They had a hard time finding a suit my size.
Pieter made the photos for the whole day. Francie was crying in happiness, and I was crying as well. For many reasons.
I had the love of my life, a house, friends who loved me and a place I felt safe in to grow and shield myself from all the horrors of the world. I cried when I felt I could finally leave a chapter in my life behind. Not the memories, not the scars, they remained forever. But here, I think I had room to move forward.
But I think I cried even more when I noticed my sisters sitting with the guests in the ceremony. I invited them, but I feared they wouldn't come. But they did! They were here! And they wanted to know everything!
I told them all I could throughout the day, they stayed over at Francie's and my house. The cat seemed to appreciate the extra attention from Natalya especially.
Iryna told me my accent had changed since last she saw me. I could only laugh. It was true.
I think I was finally home.