Captive

Chapter Twenty Three

No, please, go away! "Sure," you answer hesitantly. Loki walks closer and grabs onto the branch above him and is about to start climbing. "That one's covered in sap," you mumble.

"Thank you for the warning," Loki responds as he grabs onto a different branch. In a minute, he sits on a branch not far from yours. You look away from him, grabbing a nearby branch for balance. You can feel him staring at you as the two of you sit in silence. Finally, he breaks the silence. "How are you feeling?"

Why would you ask that? You hunch your shoulders, trying to think of how to respond. The correct answer would be that you're exhausted, you're terrified, you're confused, you're stepping on eggshells constantly, you don't believe his 'kindness' is there because of the goodness of his heart, you want to see your family, it's starting to really get at you, bring trapped, you hate how Loki always tries to talk to you, you're sad that he's trespassing on the place you found, you feel helpless and powerless, you blame yourself for the pain your family is feeling now, you're angry at Loki for all of the pain etc, etc. Can't exactly narrow that down into a short sentence. With most people, you'd lie, say that you were okay. But that doesn't work so well with the God of Lies.

"You don't have to say if you don't want to," Loki tells you quietly. "Your reaction answers it." You sink lower, wishing you could hide. You want to curl up, but you have to be careful with how you sit, not wanting to fall off. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

You could let me go. But you know that won't happen. You shake your head, not daring to look up. You shut your eyes and take deep breaths, trying to reign in your emotions. But you can still feel Loki staring at you. You tighten your hold on the branch. 

"Dearest, I–how do I put this?–you have every reason to fear me and every right to hate me. I know I'm the last person you want to see. But I swear to you, all I want is to help you. If there's anything you need, let me know, and I will do what I can to help. I am more than happy to help you with anything. All you have to do is ask–you're shaking." That is true, you are trembling. If it weren't for leaning on the trunk and holding a branch, you could have fallen off already. "Darling, you're shaking a lot. Do you want to climb down, just in case?"

He's right. Any shakier and I'll be falling. You nod sadly, not wanting to leave your spot. You start climbing down but don't make much progress. Too shaky to get a firm grip. 

"Dearest, let me help you," Loki all but whispers. You shudder, halfway down the tree. In a moment, Loki is next to you, climbing down as well. You nod in shame. "Can you wrap your arms around my neck?" You slowly reach out with your arm closest to Loki and hook it around him, holding onto his armor. Once you're secure, you wrap your other arm around him and then wrap your legs around his waist, putting all of your weight on him. You press your face against his back, his hair tickling your forehead, cursing yourself for getting yourself into this. You tighten your hold when Loki climbs down the tree. And in hardly any time at all, you're letting go of him and standing on the ground. 

You wrap your arms around your waist as you stare at the grass beneath you, feeling Loki towering over you. You shrink in on yourself when you see Loki turn around to face you. "I'm sorry," you whisper, lips trembling. 

"Whatever for, dearest?" Loki prompts. Your mind races with everything you want to apologize for. Most of it isn't directed towards Loki, but towards everyone you care for. When you don't respond, Loki continues. "For needing my help?" You nod, hugging yourself tighter. "Darling, there's no need to apologize. There's nothing wrong with needing help." Your thoughts race as he speaks. "You said before that you don't want to be a burden. You aren't anywhere near burdensome. And even if you were, there would still be nothing wrong with needing help, dearest."