Every Kind of Way

31.

After a night of throwing up her guts yet again, Asha sat on the edge of the tub waiting out the two minute timer. She wasn't feeling the best emotionally because she felt like she'd broken her own heart by breaking up with Sanchez. It was her way of being her own advocate and not allowing herself to be treated like a doormat for a second time. But she couldn't even muster up the courage to grab her things from his place and he hadn't shown up to get his either. It'd been over a week's time and she still wasn't sure she could face him.

"Oh my God, hurry up," she groaned, watching the seconds count down too slow for her rattled nerves.

"You're rushing for the results but what if you are pregnant? What are going to do?" Victoria asked, "I mean you don't even want to be with him anymore."

"Would you want to be with you him after something like that?"

"Old me would say no, but in love me wouldn't know honestly. I know that hurt because it gagged me when I saw it. I just...."

"I think you're doing what you believe needs to be done. We don't know the full ins and outs of y'all relationship so, if you saw that as the last straw then so be it. We shouldn't try and make her reconsider," Jema jumped in.

"I'm not trying to make her reconsider. Look Bug, I'm just saying because you've always said you'd never have a child with a man that's not your husband."

"I know," she rested her forehead in the palm of her hand, "But do I even want to deal with the aftermath of an abortion if I go that route. I don't think that's easy to get over."

"I don't think so either but it is an option. Especially because you're moving off wants right now. Chez didn't fully give you what you wanted from him, you dumped him. This isn't the lifestyle you want for yourself so it doesn't have to be. You can pick and choose based on what you want from your life."

"Can we see if she's actually pregnant first? I know this is stressing her out because it's making my stomach hurt," Jema stopped the conversation.

The timer on Asha's phone went off and she put her hands to her mouth, now nervous to even see what they said. She looked at the girls and they stared back at her.

"You want us to look?" Victoria asked, moving toward the sink where the two pregnancy test laid.

"Please," she lightly chewed on her acrylic like it wasn't a fresh set for her graduation ceremony. Both girls approached the counter and looked down then at one another, "They're positive...right?"

"GIRLS! It's graduation day!" the voice belonged to Victoria's mom and right behind it was Jema's mom, "Girls!"

"We still have twenty minutes before we need to leave so we'll keep them downstairs while you process, okay?" Jema quickly exited the room to avoid their moms from rushing upstairs.

Victoria gave Asha a hug, "Take your time but also remember today is your day so don't let it weigh too heavy on you. Not today at least."

Soon, Asha was in the bathroom by herself and far away from the haunting test. They were a confirmation to what she'd been feeling for the last two weeks and she was stuck. She couldn't fathom keeping the baby nor getting rid of it. It had her stuck between a rock and a hard place and while she wanted to push it to the back of her mind, the 3+ weeks beneath the words pregnant told her she had no time to be stuck.

There were only two incidents where a condom wasn't involved and pulling out had been tricky. Back in June and three weeks ago. She was pretty sure June was the 'lucky' incident and it wasn't funny but very funny how the two minute session led to a lifetime commitment. It made her scoff and laugh in disbelief.