Colors [Yoonmin]

43.

In a sudden few seconds, a lot went through his mind. Either Yoongi was here ready to move in with him or he was leaving town. Although he had denied that he was breaking up with him the anxiety crept into his stomach.

As Yoongi approached him, Jimin quickly looked away from the suitcase. He attempted to calm his nerves but they were a little too overpowering.

"Can I come in?" Yoongi added.

"Sure. Yes." He responded by clearing his throat.

Yoongi headed to the couch as Jimin closed the door behind. It was dark inside, but his window was open. The fireworks outside and the city lights illuminated them enough to see each other perfectly.

"Your lamp. It should go in the trash, but I feel bad throwing it away. I'm just going to put it here." He said putting it down on the center table.

The broken parts scattered over the table and Jimin nodded. "Yeah. I guess it's better here than out there."

"I'll get you a new lamp. I promise."

Promise. So that could only mean two things. Yoongi was staying here in town or he was leaving and he didn't keep his promises.

"I'll hold you accountable for that."

They stayed quiet for a brief moment. Yoongi was fidgeting with his fingers while Jimin nibbled inside his cheek. The air was starting to feel tense to the point it was uncomfortable.

The loud booming outside obscured their loud breathing. As the seconds went by they finally decided to speak.

"How was—?"

"I need to—"

"Go on." Yoongi said. His cowardliness was overpowering him. Anything to delay his speech. When he thought he had finally settled his thoughts they jumbled back into a mess.

"No, no, please. You said you wanted to talk."

"It's kind of rude to show up to your house at one-thirty in the morning and talk first. You go ahead. Please."

Jimin noticed something pleading in his voice so he nodded, clearing his throat. "Very well. I was going to ask you how was work?"

"Oh fucking lovely. I assisted Taehyung in a surgery. Then one of my lovely, lovely patients threw up on me. I had a gown on of course but it got all over my shoes. After that I was pretty done. So, I went to shower and made up my mind to come here. I should've called you. I should've probably waited until the morning, but I didn't know if by then I'd have the courage I have now."

"The courage to what?" Jimin whispered.

Yoongi took a deep breath like he was going to run a marathon. He was gripping one of Jimin's couch pillows until his fingers went numb.

"I'm a mess,"

Jimin opened his mouth to protest, but Yoongi softly pressed his palm against his lips. He didn't like it when Yoongi spoke poorly of himself.

"I'm a mess and I know I am." He continued.

"I've been a mess for the last several years. I was careless, cold, dreading my existence. I loathed myself and being that way and yet when you look at me...I can see that you still want me. You love me even though I'm an anxious mess. Even though I'm scared to live, you stand by my side without hesitation. Without ever doubting me or your affection towards me. I've let you down a lot. From denying my feelings towards you to making you miserable at work and you still love me. I don't know how or why, but you were put into my life for a reason and whatever it is I'm so thankful for it. I was bitter before you. Walking around with blue and grey lenses. Nothing made sense. Food did not taste like food, surgeries did not feel like surgeries. My numbness overpowered it all, but despite it all you loved me even if I was bitter and blue. You loved me." He whispered as tears fell from his eyes.

Yoongi never thought he'd get so emotional saying this out loud, but now that Jimin was so close it was too overwhelming. Words couldn't do justice to fully explain to Jimin how he saved him in many ways.

"And I just want to..." he sniffled. "I just want to thank you for making my coffee actually taste like coffee."

Jimin hugged him tightly to comfort him. "Don't cry. Please don't cry." He pleaded helplessly. "Of course I love you. I have loved you for a while now and I know I always will. No matter what. Please don't cry."
He cooed, squeezing him tighter.

Yoongi kept sniffling against his neck, wetting his shirt. "I've ruined your shirt. Sorry."

"No! Don't be sorry! It's okay! I don't—I don't even like this shirt. You know what will make you feel better? I will make you coffee right now! I might not have food but I have plenty of coffee and creamers!"

Yoongi shook his head, "They're happy tears."

"They are? Do you promise?" He whispered, holding his face.

"I promise."

"Still let me make you some coffee. It will make you feel better! I make the best coffee in the world. My friends say so, but they might be lying or biased. I don't know though because Namjoon is terribly honest. He wouldn't lie to me." Jimin rambled as he got up and walked toward the kitchen.

He turned on the light and opened the cabinets. The first thing he pulled out was the coffee container and a coffee mug. He poured water into the Christmas mug and put it in the microwave.

"How many spoonfuls of coffee do you want? One? Two? Seven? Just kidding, seven is too much and it can increase your heart rate—"

"Jimin, I am in love with you."

He gasped, dropping the spoon into the sink. For a brief second he froze until he felt Yoongi coming behind him.

His pale hands wrapped around his waist, "I'm so in love with you Jimin." The words flowed through his tongue effortlessly. It was relieving and comforting.  He had been holding it inside for so long now it felt good to finally tell him how much he loved him.

Jimin slowly turned around, "You love me?" He asked quietly.

"Very much."

Jimin smiled, pulling him to close the space between them. They smiled in between the kiss giving each other all the attention and affection in the world.

Soon after they forgot about the coffee, the fireworks and the world. As they headed down the hall kissing and undressing each other, Yoongi was trying to speak.

"Jimin?"

"Hmm?"

"Uhh...I need to say one more thing."

"Okay?" He murmured as he helped Yoongi out of his shirt.

"I might have to get my suitcase that's outside. I don't want it stolen."

Jimin giggled, pushing him on the bed. "So I take it you're officially moving with me?"

He nodded as he pinned his hands above his head. Jimin slowly leaned down and kissed his cheek down to his lips.

"Yoongi you deserve this," he whispered against his pink lips. "You've suffered enough. You deserve a happy ending."

And at that Yoongi melted into his touch, finally believing that he did deserve this. With none other than Jimin.