Chasing Casey

Chapter One

We were best friends as soon as we met each other. It was strange. First day of year seven, was the day that changed my life. I was a bit of a loner, having come from a tiny primary school. No one else from my school went to the high school I did, which made things hard. Then I met Casey. I still remember the day with crystal-clear vividness.

"Want a pizza?" He asked. His hair was too long, his eyes too eager, his teeth too big for his mouth. He was the cutest boy I had ever seen. "My shout?"

I had stared up at him timidly. A boy was talking to me. Back then, I was in my pre-teen, social awkwardness stage. I had the greasy, slicked hair, no make-up, being a bit chubby thing going on. Why was this cute boy singling me out? My cheeks were hot, my heart beating rapidly, my stomach bubbling with nerves.

"Yeah." I brilliantly replied.

That's how it started. He bought me a pizza. I thought he was going to ask me out. My heart had been slamming against my rib cage. My hands were trembling as I bit into the deliciousness.

Did I smell? Was my hair as gross as it felt? Was this a prank? A million questions rushed through my mind like a whirlwind. I was scared. Sure, it was just pizza with a guy, but I had never been in a situation like this. Did he like me? Was this the start of my first relationship? Was I ready? I don't even know anything about boys!

My mind soon became at ease.

He was the easiest person to talk to. I'd never met anyone like him. Twenty minutes into our lunch date, I couldn't stop staring, couldn't stop blushing and couldn't stop babbling like an idiot. Twenty minutes in, I had begun falling for this boy.

Ever since then, no matter how much he got teased for being friends with a girl or me being teased that I was 'out of my league', we stuck together like glue. We didn't ever spend one day a part. Not one. If I went on a family holiday, he did too. If I was sick, he was at my house making me disgusting soup. If we fought and I told him to leave me alone, he would come over anyway. Spending every day with someone makes you truly understand who they are. We knew everything about each other. Down to every, tiny, embarrassing detail.

That's why I loved him.

Then it happened. As all good stories, that was a dramatic plot twist that shook my world. It all crumbled to an abrupt stop and emotionally, I still wasn't okay. I still haven't accepted what happened. I was so confused. I knew him better than I knew myself.

How he could do it... I honestly have no clue. It was the most absurd thing, when you think about it. Like a horror story, only worse, since it actually happened to me. For the past year, every single day, I have asked myself the same questions.

How didn't I see it coming? Was I some part of it? What could I have done to prevent it? Why did he do it?

I can't describe how broken I felt. I honestly couldn't function. It was horrible. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. I became emotionally unstable. I kept to myself. I didn't talk. I didn't eat. It was to the point where I was hospitalised. I soon recovered, physically, and focused on something else.

Anger.

I was so unbelievably angry with him. I will never forgive him for what he did. He has turned me into someone that I don't want to be. I don't want to be this hate-filled person. But I can't help it. This is who I've become. And it's all his fault.

He's made me insane. He's everywhere, but he's nowhere. My eyes burned as tears threatened to spill. But they wouldn't. I haven't cried for months. I can't. I honestly think I cried so much after it happened that my body cannot produce anymore tears. I was broken.

Casey. My best friend. The person I knew more than anyone. The person I trusted. The person I loved.

He killed himself.

Or, so I thought.

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