Twilight: But it's a Thriller and I Never Read Twilight

Chapter 37: Old Traditions

"Be careful," Edward said blankly behind me as I bent to reach down toward it. The skirt of my dress fell into the venom, staining the edge in black. As I reached down to pluck it out, something rose up from the depths of the pond, its face just becoming visible as I jumped back, shocked. It was my Dad's face, just as gaunt and distorted as the dead men in the pews. I screamed without thought, wordlessly, endlessly until my body spasmed onto the ground and I woke to find myself covered in sweat.

My bedroom in the Cullens' house was cold, but morning light crept in from the windows where the blinds had been drawn to allow only a sliver. I shot into a sitting position as I woke and grabbed hold of my face as if there was blood I needed to wipe away. It all felt so real and the thudding in my heart told me it was real still. I sat up, breathing with my hands over my head for a long time as I waited for my heart to calm.

"Bad dream?" a voice asked from the shadows of my room, and I jolted to find Edward standing before the closed door, his back pressed against it. He still watched me sleep in the days leading up to our wedding, never laying with me or moving to comfort a haunted dream. He always said they'd make me braver.

"I don't know," I stuttered. "I—I think I need a minute."

"We're going hunting today. We won't be back until later," he said and started to open the door to leave.

I wanted to ask him something, but I wasn't sure what. That nightmare was still rattling around in my head, bearing down a threat. This house felt suddenly unwelcoming as I got out of bed, landing bare feet on the cold floor. Nothing of my human life remained anymore, but I was still alive, still human and living in a nest of vampires. The world felt cold and sterile and grey here.

I threw on a shirt and a thick pair of sweatpants before I tugged my hair into a ponytail and glanced at myself in the vanity mirror Alice had given me. It used to be in her room, but she had since given it to me and gotten herself a new one. Most of my things in this room were gifts from one Cullen or another.

My face, now clear of scars and memories didn't quite feel like my face. I was getting used to the idea that one day, I would look different from this. When I was a vampire, I wouldn't even recognize myself. Alice had told me she thought she was looking at a photograph of a stranger the first time she saw herself in the mirror. I wondered just how much of my face would change.

I measured the shape of my lips with my eyes, the structure of my cheeks and the color of my eyes. One day, that color would be gone, and I'd be just as timeless as the Cullens. Sometimes that scared me, but less and less these days. There were no human friends, no Charlie, no Renee across the country. I was on my own now.

But that dream felt like a horror I hadn't felt in a long time. I was desensitized to it, but looking in the mirror now, all I could see was that distorted reflection in a sea of vampire venom. It shook me all the way through to the bone marrow as I stared at my human face, still so filled with color and life. One day it would change and never shift again.

Lost again in my own low level constant fear, I tore my face away from my reflection and marched out the door to the hallway of the house. Here, there was a light that hung over every door and the window at the end of the hall let a grey light shine down over the tile floor. Each room I walked past I counted; Edward's, Alice's, Emmett's, Jasper's, Rosalie's. Their doors stood on each side of the hall like a psych ward.

When I got down to the kitchen, I found Esme there, making herself breakfast. She looked up at me briefly before returning to her omelet on the stove. I ignored he morning routine and stepped over to the sliding back door, where I could see out into the forested expanse. That forest felt the most like home of all of this house. All the pleasantries and riches of the Cullen home could not contend with the fresh air of the open woods. As summer came into its peak, the forest was as green as ever and there was sun almost every day.