Twilight: But it's a Thriller and I Never Read Twilight

Chapter 45: Emptiness

As I took the first step, my balance faltered, and I nearly twisted my ankle as I pressed weight at an odd angle. I corrected myself quickly, but it was clear I couldn't get very far as I was. Still, I pushed myself forward, holding myself against the wall to stumble toward the door on the other side the other room.

Every step was like shattering glass, but no amount of pain could stop the churning in my gut. I was starving like I'd never known, like I hadn't eaten in the entirety of this pregnancy. With a grunt, I swung the door open. I stepped haphazardly into the hallway, taking the wall into my shoulder to keep me upright.

Here, the world was darkened, but I could still make out the white of the tile and the walls through the moonglow out the window. All those doors lined up in a row made this hallway seem so much more sinister among the shadows. I stumbled my way down the hallway, my feet tripping over each other on occasion as I left the psych ward hallway.

The stairs were much harder to traverse. I leaned on the railing, my head precariously hanging over the edge. As I dragged my weakened bones down the stairs, I felt that my head was heavier than the rest of me, heavy enough to slip off my shoulders and tumble down to the floor with a great splat. I could just imagine my head cracked open, the brain in pieces and splattered across the expensive tile. I didn't imagine there would be much blood through. At times, it felt like there wasn't any blood in my body at all.

I dipped down a little as I reached the bottom step, nearly letting the structure of my body fall in on itself and bring me to the ground. I held onto the railing, my fingers turning white from the pressure. As I stood there in the dark, laying all my weight onto the railing, I counted the steps to the kitchen. I was sure I could make it if I inched my way around the walls, using them for support, but the grumble in my stomach and the cold feeling in my chest made me feel as if I was choking on my own guts.

My head spun wildly as I eyed a route where I could use as many pieces of furniture to lean on as I could. The couch would make a long support, but the break from the furniture to the door of the kitchen was open air. I couldn't imagine I could reach the door jam just by momentum, but unable to think or really process the distance, I didn't care to stop.

I used what little strength I had in my arms to propel myself forward toward the first chair in the living room which stood as a shadow among all the darkness of this room. I collapsed into the back of the chair, my palms stretching around the edges to keep me stable as I breathed out harsh sighs into the upholstered back. Through my breaths, I swore quietly and dragged myself hastily to my feet.

Once I had my balance again, I counted the distance to the couch and tried the same thing, swinging myself back and forth until I could feel enough momentum to fling myself forward. I stumbled on my feet, crinkling toes as I slammed into the arm of the sofa and stopped. Hair fell into my face, stringy and dark, soaking up the sweat on my forehead as I dragged myself. I was halfway there, but a deep part of me wanted to lie down on the cold tile and soak in the pain bearing on my arms and legs.

Slowly, I wobbled my way forward against the backing of the sofa, putting one foot in front of the other as I dragged myself by my nails toward the kitchen door. The hunger filled me up entirely now. I didn't feel the pain or the ache in my joints anymore. My eyes had glazed over with it and all I could think of was the pang in my gut for food. I was less myself, more a wild animal than I'd ever felt in all my lost and stumbling state.

As I reached the end of the couch, I came to the drop. The kitchen was only feet away, but my body was weighing down on itself. I inched one step back and then another before I could find the strength to attempt a run. A moment of hesitation passed me by in the dark expanse of the living room before I blew the hair from my eyes and careened myself forward, pushing off the couch toward the door jam that would catch me. It took less than a second for me to take one step and then another as my head and shoulders dipped toward the ground.