Castlevania: Through the Infinite Corridor of Madness

history of the entire world, i guess

The sound of VCR fast forwarding plays.

NARRATOR: Ooh, I paused it. I think there's a universe now. What's it made of?

CHORUS: Quarks and stuff!

NARRATOR: Ah, that's a thing, in a place. Don't like it? Try a new place, at a different time. Try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier, but it's not empty yet. It's still very full and about a kjghpillion degrees.

"Just like that... The Universe was born." Dracula said, with a hint of amazement.

Everyone stared in absolute awe, "It's… There are no words to describe this." said Sypha.

"Incredible." Isaac said, his cold expression breaking to reveal his awed face.

Even Carmilla had her wine on her table as she stared at the vastness of space, the stars, galaxys. "Is this… is this what it feels like to be God, to be in a realm that is even higher than that of the mortal realm?"

About no seconds pass.

NARRATOR: Great news! The quarks are now happily married and in groups of three, called a proton or a neutron, and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't because it's still too-

An explosion goes off while the screen says, "HOT."
10 minutes pass.

NARRATOR: Great news! The protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other. Some of them even doubled up.

About 380,000 years pass.

NARRATOR: Great news! The electrons have now joined in. Congratulations! The world is now a bunch of gas in space, but it's getting closer together...
10 million years pass.

NARRATOR: ...and it's getting closer together...

500 million years pass.

NARRATOR: ...and it's getting closer toget-

An explosion occurs.

CHORUS: It's a star!

The vampires in the theatre were amazed at the sight of the sun without being burned.

"So that's what it's like... To see the sun." Carmilla said in a whisper.

"I've nearly forgotten what the sun looked like." Dracula said, holding Lisa's hand.

Lisa kisses her count on the cheek with a smile as she enjoys the view of the bright star.

Sypha stared at the star in awe. "So something pulled the gasses together?"

"Gravity." Dracula said.

Ace nodded. "That's right. The Theory of Gravity wouldn't be invented for a couple hundred years, but it seems you've already figured it out."

Lisa smiles as she boasts. "My Count is beyond any in terms of intelligence! Well aside from smart little adrian of course." Said son was trying to disappear into the chair.

Trevor and Sypha tried to keep their giggling contained while Carmilla rolled her eyes.

Isaac and Hector kept their cool, but were having a nice chuckle on the inside.

NARRATOR: New shit just got made. Some stars burn out and die. Bigger stars burn out and die with passion, and make some brand new, way crazier shit...

CHORUS: Space dust!

NARRATOR: ...which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into-