Castlevania: Through the Infinite Corridor of Madness

history of the entire world, i guess

NARRATOR: It has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. So that's pretty nifty, I would say.

Dracula looked at it with narrowed eyes. "Amazing... It's hard to imagine life started out this small."

Lisa looked at it with a hand to her mouth as she squeezed her husband's hand. "It's so... Adorable."

Carmilla was confused, "That's it? That was the first sign of life? Are you fucking with us, Ace?"

"No, I am not fucking with you. The first signs of life were tiny microscopic cells that divided up to create more. Proper animals and such wouldn't exist for millions of years." Ace said.

Adrian started rubbing his chin. "I wonder." He mumbles before looking at Ace, "If at all possible I would like for you to show us an area where we can run tests and examine our own cells to see why vampires burn in the sun."

Ace nodded, "After this viewing, I'd be more than happy to have a building installed so you may conduct experiments. I'll have several other buildings installed so you can take a more personal look at the items or stories from the viewings we'll see."

He nods in thanks as Adrian looks back to the screen.

Dracula smiled at his son before reaching down to place a hand on Adrian's shoulder. His son looked up at him and smiled back.

It was a touching moment before it was ruined by the local drunk, "Right so what did we all look like before we men got our dicks and women got their breasts." Which causes Adrian to sigh, "Damn it Belmont."

Sypha sighed as well, "Trevor, I swear to God…"

NARRATOR: Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?

CHORUS: Now you can eat sunlight!

The year is now -3,000,000,000.

NARRATOR: Using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.

CHORUS: Taste the sun!

The year is now -2,300,000,000.

NARRATOR: Side effect, now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue. Then the Earth might have been a snowball for a while. Maybe even a couple of times.

The year is now -500,000,000.

NARRATOR: It's a sponge. It's a plant. It's a worm, and some other types of weird, strange water bugs and strange fish.

CHORUS: It's the Cambrian explosion!

Hector smiled, being a man who loves creatures of the wild, he exclaimed, "This is how animal life evolved in our world! Amazing!"

"It is indeed impressive." Isaac said.

"Evolution is a slow, but amazing process." Dracula said, studying the animals and plants on screen.

IO: Wow, that's animals and stuff.

SEA LIFE: But we're still in the ocean. Hey, can we go on land?

CHORUS, as LAND: NO!

SEA LIFE: Why?

CHORUS, as LAND: The sun is a deadly lazer!

SEA LIFE: Oh, okay.

CHORUS: Not anymore, there's a blanket.

NARRATOR: Now the animals can go on land. Come on animals, let's go on land.