Started with "I Do"

18

During lunch break the other guys asked him why Minho was not there to which he could only show them the text that Minho had sent him this morning. The other just nodded their head and started talking like usual while eating but all of them could feel that Jisung was feeling down. Changbin teased him by saying "He will only be gone for a few days. What's up with that face as if you are being separated for a whole year." 

Jisung cracked a smile and said "It's not that. I just feel like something is wrong." Seungmin looked at him worriedly and asked "Why? Did something happen? Did you guys fight again?" Jisung looked down at his food at the table and said while giving him a helpless smile and said "Don't worry, we didn't fight. Maybe I'm just overthinking."

Chan looked at him and asked "Want me talk to Minho?" Jisung looked at him with his big alarmed eyes and said hurriedly "No don't ask him anything. I'm worried that I'm just overanalyzing everything." Chan then nodded his head and added to reassure Jisung "He occasionally goes to his parents suddenly without telling anyone and will return back after a few days just like that. This has already happened few times in the past. Don't worry too much." 

Hyunjin tsked and added "Just ask and confirm whatever it is that is prodding you. You're clearly worried about him. Why would you even keep yourself troubled by keeping things to yourself." Jisung shook his head and said "No asking. End of discussion."

After Jisung resolutely refuted all of them they just went back to their own classes after the break ended. Jisung, Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix went to a cafe they used to go to frequently before and talked for hours after the end of their classes. They felt like it had been a really long time since only four of them hung out together like this. 

Jeongin teasingly pouted pretending to be sad while saying "I'm so lonely these days. Felix and Jisung is always busy with their significant other and no longer hangs out with me. Seungmin hangs out with me the most but now a days he is also taking extra shift at work." 

Felix and Jisung feeling a little guilty tried to defy it by saying "Hey that's not true." Seungmin just chuckled from the side and said "What are you pretending for? I just started to work more after I noticed how often you hang out with Chan alright." 

He then added while sighing "I just wanted to give you guys some alone time since you seemed a little interested but can't believe I'm being blamed like this." Jeongin rolled his eyes and refuted "Isn't it because you requested him to take me home that one day because you had to go to work. After that he learnt that I was free after school most of the time and since he was also in the same situation as me we just started to hang out more often."

Felix and Jisung had their mouth open with shock while staring at the two. Felix who was still shocked looked at them and said "Come again. Who is interested in whom?" Jisung was also astounded learning this new information and was also looking at Jeongin with his eyes wide open with a questioning expression.

Jeongin turning slighly red in his cheeks said "It's not like that. I just told to Seungmin that Chan seemed to be really warm and secure as a person seeing how he was when Hyunjin was having a hard time and he has just been teasing me since then." Seungmin teasingly nudged him with his elbow and said "Isn't it the same thing. Since when have you let your guards down to other people and let them get close to you so easily."

Felix ohhhhhed teasingly and said while pretending to wipe his nonexistent tears "Oh my god. Looks like this child of ours has finally found someone who makes him feel safe." Jisung also played along with Felix and stated to fake sniffle. Jeongin humphed angrily and just started to drink his drink without saying anything after seeing that no matter what he told the older guys were just fixed on making fun of him. Seeing the cute reaction of the youngest they all laughed till they had tears in their eyes.

After they had laughed enough Jisung turned towards Felix and asked him "What about you?How is it going on with Changbin these days? Isn't he like super busy?" Felix mood visibly went down after this topic arised. He pouted a little while saying "It was going on fine before but once he started getting busy we don't have much time to spend together. The only time we are together is during lunch break and I just feel like we are starting to get distant from each other due to the lack of interaction."

Seungmin asked him while sipping his coffee "Don't you guys text often. I always seeing you texting him though." Felix just slouched his back and said with his head turned downwards "I used to and he would also reply me back whenever he could or after he finished working for the day. After a while I just started to feel like I was disturbing him with my texts so I still do text him but not as frequent as before."

All of them sat in silence for a while which was broken when Jeongin sighed and said "I'm sure everything will be alright. Didn't he say he would make it up to you once he was free." Jisung also nodded his head and added reassuringly "Yeah I mean Changbin seems to like you too so if both of your feelings remains mutual then I am sure it will be alright somehow. Don't worry too much about it Felix."   

Seungmin also comforted him with some words then changed the course of attention to Jisung by asking "How about you? How is it going on with getting to know Lee Minho?" Jisung shyly rubbed the back of his head and said "You can say that it is going quiet okay. Getting along with him is pretty easier then I expected it to be. He is quiet tolerant of me and treats me very good. We do have our shares of little scuffle but there hasn't been one that we couldn't solve after talking till now."

He then looked down at his hands at the table then after contemplating for a long time Jisung added "It's just that sometimes I feel like we are getting along quiet fine. Things seem to be going very well but there are some certain moments when I feel like I am the only one who feels like this plus if I think about it carefully I don't know anything about him. He just seems to be full of secrets that I don't even have a bit knowledge about."

He paused for a while before continuing "I mean this was fine the way it was before but now I am just not satisfied with it. I want to get to know more about him but I am scared that if I prod anymore he will feel like I am interfering in his life too much. After all it's just a marriage in name we aren't really a couple and he doesn't have to tell me everything if he doesn't want to."

Jisung decided to tell his friends what he has been feeling without hiding anything "I get it. I understand where he is coming from but I am starting to be selfish and am starting to expect more things from him now, more than what he is willing to give me. I think that he is really good no matter how other perceives him or what others say about him. He has never given me any reason to not trust him. I even think that he is too good for me but just this once I want to think for only myself be selfish and want him to be good to only me."

 "I am not sure if I like him yet but with how things are going I am very sure that I am willing to in the very near future. In spite of that, I am kind of afraid of falling for him. I am afraid of it because knowing how closed off Minho is and not willing to share the parts of him he doesn't want to to others. I am not sure if I can look over that about him. You see I am very much of a coward so I am very scared of getting hurt and if this continues on I am not confident that I will not get hurt."

Jisung continued on while playing with his fingers nervously "You see to me Minho has been one of very few people other than you guys that has treated me so well without expecting anything in return or without having any ill intent. I also think of his friends as my friends too. And just because I want to be selfish just this once, I am not ready to take the risk and lose all of this. Lose the friendship formed with the other guys, lose this peaceful bond with Minho and mostly I don't want Minho to feel burdened with what I feel and think."

Jisung persisted till the end and finished by saying "So, although things with Minho currently is going pretty nice, I just feel that this is the calmness before the storm. And I'm not ready to face the effects and the consequences of the storm yet. So, in short what I mean is although things seems to be pretty good I feel restless."