In the end, its Him & I

38. A Step in the Right Direction

I turned so I was facing him. I wrapped my arm around his neck as he pulled my body closer. "Seni seviyorum," I said as I played in his hair. Gosh, I really hope I said that right, I've been practicing for days. He smiled widely, and I giggled softly not to wake Xile. (I love you)

"Did I say that right?"

"Yes. Yes, you did, aşkim" he said nudging my nose with his. M

"My love, right?" I asked.

"You speak Turkish now, huh?"

"Yup," I joked. "About therapy, I booked us both a private session before we go in together."

"Okay angel. Close your eyes."

I closed my eyes and buried my head into the crook of his neck.

"We're going to be all right, right?" I asked and he nodded as he ran his hands through my hair.

"Yes, we are,"

The next morning, we stopped at a little café before our therapy sessions and had breakfast.

I held Grey and I's hoodie as he held my other hand leading me into the therapist's office.

Once we signed the paperwork, I sat on the couch in the waiting room and Grey went first. I colored on my iPad and spoke to Xile as I waited until he was done.

When he came out, he gave me a kiss and I went in.

I had a great feeling about today and I promised myself I'd try to be happy again.

I was happy I made the decision to do this now instead of repressing my feelings and having the consequences of my actions bite me in the ass later on in life.

I sat on the clear hanging bubble chair next to the window as he leaned on edge of his acrylic desk.

His office had a minimalistic design, with warm nude tones. The whole time I was on the edge, fearful that I'd mess up anything in his office.

I didn't know what I was expecting him to ask me about in this session but I sure as hell didn't think he'd start at my childhood.

It gave me a laugh in my sick mind honestly, why in the hell wouldn't he start at the root of all my problems?

It caught me completely off guard and I started to fiddle with the strings on my hoodie.

He kept asking me questions about my childhood and my parents but nothing too in-depth and I was glad for it. As we continued the session I slowly began to open up more.

I told him how I was forced to grow up way too soon and had been raising a kid since the age of 10.

Although I didn't quite know how much I could share with him without him finding out about the mafia, I tried my best to only tell him the less important details.

We spoke about the baby and how it affected Grey and I's relationship thus far. We spoke about where we'd take things from here on out and how many sessions I'd like to start with per week. It was very easy to speak to him, he didn't let me dive straight into things. Instead, he let me dip my feet into the shallow end and enter the water at my own pace.

When Grey entered we sat on the couch together. I could tell he was tense, so I made him do most of the talking to ease his nerves.

Even though it was just the first day, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off of our shoulders.

When we were done, we went to the different stores along the street and picked up a few things. We went into one of the jewelry stores and browsed for a bit.