"I have a baby. I'm a mom. I have more important responsibilities.", you rationalized.
He sighed in response before his brown eyes looked deep into yours. "Yes, dear but I am perfectly capable of watching our son to give you a break."
His words instantly made you recoil defensively. "Never said you couldn't."
There was a snip in your response. There it was.
"I know, love.", he began taking your hand. "I'm just saying I don't want you to become depressed seeing the same four walls every day. Being a mom is hard and I don't want it to take a toll on you."
You felt your face heating up, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.
"It's okay if you need to talk. It's okay if you're having those thoughts—maybe about harming yourself or feeling like things won't get better. I'm here. I want to help you. I love you.", he offered seeing as you didn't respond.
You turned your glance away from Joe, staring at the floor in your all's bedroom, focusing on anything to keep you from crying.
"Love, you're not eating. You're not sleeping well. You cry a lot. Something's wrong. Will you please get some help?", his voice broke on the last sentence.
His voice breaking was the final straw, causing tears to fall from your eyes. You didn't want to admit it, but he was right. He sighed sadly before pulling you against him, kissing your head. You all sat in silence for a few minutes, allowing your emotions to finally escape the bottle you had put them in.
You just nodded as Joseph kissed your forehead, reassuring you that you all would get through this together.
That was a few months ago. You had immediately scheduled an appointment to see your OB, telling her exactly what you had experienced. Joseph went with you for moral support. Your OB took this very seriously, referring you to a counselor and prescribing anti-depressants, assuring you the benefits outweighed the risks. It wouldn't harm Rowan while you finished breastfeeding him.
People always said negative things regarding postpartum depression, asking how on earth could a woman who loved her baby feel this way. What reason did she have to be depressed? Your baby was healthy, you were thankful for that. You had a supportive partner and father to your child, you were also thankful for that. Your labor went smoothly, with no complications. Your OB had chalked it up to a sudden drop in hormones, assuring you this was normal.
"Definitely your son.", you laughed to Joseph.
Joe chuckled easily, you were able to hear the smile in his laugh. On the other end of the line, there was some commotion.
"I miss you both so bad, love.", Joe sighed.
"We miss you too, baby.", you assured him.
With that, you heard a subtle cry from Rowan. Joe could hear it too, you were sure. You walked back into the living room, towering over Rowan's playpen where you let him nap most days especially if he struggled to fall asleep and was really fussy, which had been the case today. You and Joe were never completely silent around Rowan even when he slept as a baby. This helped him in the long run to sleep and take longer naps as you did housework or relaxed, watching television.
"Hi, baby. Are you finally awake?", you smirked, putting the phone between your shoulder and cheek, picking him up out of the playpen, causing him to cease his crying.
Joe was silent on the other end of the line, just listening to you both. Rowan laid his head on your shoulder, sniffling ever so slightly.
"Is he okay?", Joe asked.
