Robin one shot part 3!

Question is, why are you pretending?

And that was the plan.

The entire night he kept a drink in his hand and shotgunned with Roy enough times to make it look like he could feasibly be drunk. Every so often he added a slur to his words and kept himself slightly unsteady to really sell it. His sugar intake kept him peppy, making it appear that he was a happy drunk. Barry covered for him a few times, saying that if they drink enough alcohol with a high percentage quickly or don't eat properly their metabolism won't burn through it as fast. Most people didn't care to prod further than that given they were there to unwind. 

Dick passed occasionally and looked to be drunk but not as drunk as Wally was pretending to be. He did appear to pick up some extra confidence and his hand was never free of a drink. He would check in, ask how he was doing and if he was having fun before he was inevitably pulled away by someone else to join them on the dancefloor. The speedster would be lying if he wasn't slightly jealous that people other than himself were capturing Dick's attention but he too was usually being pulled away to join a party game to test his metabolism.

As the party began to hit a lull, Barry found Dick in the crowd and suggested he take Wally home since he was a bit too drunk to continue partying. The acrobat didn't question him and said his goodbyes to his friends who booed playfully as he left. He wrapped an arm around Wally's waist and held onto one of his arms, the physical touch doing wonders for Wally, before he walked him to the Zetatubes, appearing a few blocks from their apartment in Bludhaven. It was a quiet night and they were being hit with a rare warm streak of weather so they felt no rush to get home.

"I love you man," Dick giggled when they stumbled out into the street. That made the speedster's heart stutter even if he knew it was said in a platonic way. He could dream those words were said romantically. 

"Love you too," Wally replied. "I really do."

"I know, I know." But he didn't. His tone was placating but not understanding. Wally stopped walking and grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing them both to stay still. "Wally? You okay?"

"I love you in the gay way bro. Full homo. I love you and I've been in love with you. Like I find you cute. The cutest thing about you is when you get excited about having just the right amount of milk to make a bowl of cereal, that's the type of love I mean." The wording definitely wasn't what he wanted to say, his brain just spurting out things he hoped would get his point across. "You don't have to say you love me too because I get we've been best friends for years-and-I-would-never-force-you-to-" Hands suddenly cupped his cheeks and he caught his breath as he stared at Dick. He looked so pretty.

"Wally, I love you too. More than anything."

"Really?"

"Really! And you wanna know what I find cute about you?" Dick asked with that devilish grin. God, he was a sight to behold. 

"What?"

"You pretending to be drunk." 

Just like that, Wally's posture is fixed and he looks as stone-cold sober as he felt. He stared at the acrobat for a moment, gaining a laugh. 

"Did you really think you could pretend around me and have me not notice? I know your biology Wally." That phrasing was evil. Purposefully evil if that mischievous glint in his eyes were anything to go by. "Now, how about you use it to get us home quick, yeah? Then I can show you how I work?"