Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

16. Completely used

If I hadn't failed biology, none of this would be happening. I would still be a cold hearted bitch, and I would still be mean to whoever didn't match my status. I winced in disgust as that thought crossed my head. Why was I like this? I felt my chest start to compress into itself as memories started flashing in my head. I rushed towards my car and got inside, starting it and pressing the accelerator. I need these thoughts out of my fucking head. I knew why I needed this status, and it's all thanks to the lack of attention I received my whole fucking life. My parents only breed with eachother to have an heir to their thrones, and sadly that was me. The looks of the people at school and the boys and the girls were everything I wanted, but they could never satisfy me. I did a sharp turn with my car and I knew I was blindly driving at this point, but I needed to let myself go. I saw the cliff to the side and my eyes widened as the craziest though crossed my mind. I slowly hit the brakes of my car and I stared blindly onto my steering wheel. 

I took a deep breath in, trying to calm myself down, over and over again. I felt my blood pumping a mile through my veins, and my head was starting to hurt from the amount of emotions I was feeling all at once.

"This year is the fucking worst." I said out loud and started the car once more but this time, towards my house. As I was reaching it, my eyes widened as I saw Eddie with his hips pressed to the hood of his van as he smoked a cigarette. I blinked and parked my car, right in front of him and I looked on the rear mirror to see him look up, and his eyes showed some kind of worry. For me? I blinked and walked out of my car and walked towards him, my heart still pumping quite heavily from the stunt I've done minutes ago. "What are you doing here?" I asked him and he just stared at me as if I were stupid.

"Honey, you ran as if you've seen a fucking ghost through the cafeteria." He said to me and he handed me a cigarette. I blinked and slowly took one out of his box. It's been a while since I've smoked, but I do remember how much it calms me down. I put it on my lips and he helped me light it up. I took a deep breath from it and I instantly felt my shoulders slump down in relaxation, exhaling the air towards the sky as I let out a moan in delight. I looked at him and he was looking at me, biting his bottom lip and I squinted slightly at him wondering why he was doing that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked him and he snapped from his trance and took another hit from his cigarette. He then smirked as I leaned on the trunk of my car.

"Nothing... What happened?" He asked me and I blinked towards the ground. I took a hit from the cigarette again and finally confessed.

"Jason Carver." I said and he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, so I continued as I stared into his eyes. "The one I fucked that Monday night, was Jason." I said to him and his jaw almost dropped to the floor. I could see him slightly shaking his head in disapproval as his eyes were as wide as plates.

"You fucked Carver?" He asked me and I nodded at him, taking another hit from my stick. I knew nobody would see us together because it was school hours, so I didn't mind being on the street with him right now.

"Yes..." I said to him and he stood there silently as he processed that information.

"And why did you look like you were about to cry?" He asked me and I looked to the side, towards the houses down the block, not wanting to make eye contact with him. I don't know why I'm confessing this to him, but I just feel at peace with Munson, and for some odd reason, I trust him.

"I've liked Jason ever since I entered high school." I said to him and his breathing hitched at the information.

"Okay, sorry sweety, but ew." He exclaimed and I looked at him with an offended frown on my face and he raised his hands up. "Sorry, sorry. Go on." He motioned me to continue and I shook my head, followed by a sigh.