R3 | Review, Reads & Graphics Shop | CLOSED

→ Book Review | The Sky is Yellow by @Radiaamaya

♡♡♡♡

BLURB: Apart from the cover and title, the blurb plays a major role in determining whether or not someone clicks on your story to check it out. Your blurb started out beautifully and I'm an absolute sucker for good metaphors so I really loved the yellow and blue personifications for these characters. I like how the rest of the blurb flows but there are some small errors here and there (like grammatical errors or there being a space before each full-stop which isn't required. A simple run through MS Word / Grammarly / Google Docs / similar software can solve that for you easily. I feel like the "overpower the odds" line should have been the end of the blurb as it creates a better hook. I'd also recommend combining some of it into paragraphs instead of separate, scattered lines to create better readability. I personally suggest removing the entire part from "Meave" to "alone after all" as it isn't really necessary for the blurb. It doesn't give a value addition and only dulls your hook and intrigue already created above.

P.S. You don't have to change anything but if you wish to, you can always experiment with new styles of blurbs to see what kind attract readers most.

♡♡♡.5

CHARACTERS: While what makes someone click on a story is a cover / title / blurb, what makes them stay is your plot and especially your characters. Their relatability, the whole vibe they give off and how well the characterization is done plays a huge role in a story. After all, it is easy to forget a story's title or maybe even plot but some characters stay with you even after you've finished reading the story. Meave's budding relationship with her brother is well charted out and makes you understand the character's journey. Her inhibitions, her trust issues and quick acceptance feel on point for her character. However when she talks to herself, I believe "subconscious" or "consciousness" wouldn't be the right term for it. Probably alter ego or a voice in her head or something similar would fit better. I like how this appears throughout the story, gives better uniformity.

♡♡♡♡.5

AND

Judging from the intro parts & the first 5 chapters I have read...

PACE & PLOT - The story feels like it involves a very character development focused plot which is why a slower pace works fine for this story. However, I really recommend sticking to maximum 2 POVs per chapter (and if possible, all in the same style i.e. all in 1st person or all in 3rd person).  For instance, in chapter 4, the POV feels like it's in 3rd person but the chats (which are hilarious by the way xD) say "me" instead of the character's name. "Me" would have been alright if this was in first person. Hence, the uniformity would make the reading and writing flow better. The various relationships throughout the story (friendship, siblings etc.) and characters are well-built, liking the growth so far.

DESCRIPTIONS & WRITING - If there was just one thing I would suggest to change about / work on this story, it would definitely be this. The physical descriptions (surroundings, appearance etc.) were completely missing from this story and though I personally I didn't mind the physical and surrounding descriptions being skipped to be honest, I felt like a major missing from this story (which could also uplift it instantly!) was emotional descriptions. The dialogues felt way too continuous at times and adding descriptions midway helps to break them. Also, I suggest having connected lines as paragraphs since it becomes a bit of a struggle to read when each line is entered as a separate paragraph. Makes it feel less of a novel this way. But there were also a few paragraphs that were way too long. Eg. As an easy rule of thumb, you could create a different paragraph whenever a new person starts speaking. That's easier for readers to process. Dividing parts / scenes with a

.

.

.

.

becomes way too distracting and slightly confusing to read. I'd suggest avoiding that.

GRAMMAR - Firstly, I've got to say that the space before each full stop and some commas too (the space isn't required) is quite distracting, probably out of force of habit. I am not here to edit and pinpoint small mistakes (a simple run though MS Word or Grammarly can do that as mentioned above) so I'll be saying this from a reader's perspective - the kind that don't intentionally try to hunt for mistakes. Overall, I felt like were a few grammar (especially tense) and punctuation errors (especially in dialogue tags and spacing) but as said above, all you need is a quick run through MS Word or similar software to solve them. Some errors like Tej being spelt as Taj or unintentional spelling mistakes (like site instead of sit) need to be checked and solved manually.

READIBILITY & AESTHETICS - The paragraph sizing needs to be worked upon (as mentioned above). I'm not sure why the entire prologue is in italics to be honest. The alignment needs to be checked as well (some part of the main story is erroneously aligned in centre while most of it is aligned left. The story majorly requires formatting like this to become more reader-friendly. Italics can be used for emphasis instead of bold text.

OTHER POINTS - I like the graphics attached in the characters and aesthetics parts. They really give an insight into the characters' heads. Also, the way each chapter starts with a quote and a page-break banner uplifts the overall reading experience.

♡♡♡.5

Wishing you good luck for this story *_*

* * *

GENERAL POINTS TO NOTE FOR BOOK REVIEWS

Hey, there! Here is your book review. Hope this helped in any way. If there's something else you need an opinion on for this story, please feel free to drop a comment here.

- My intention with this book review was not to offend anyone (sorry if I did). I just genuinely wanted to help a fellow writer out with my insights.

- Please do not undo any payments after you have received your review.

- In case you need any more assistance, feel free to request again for the same service / another one.

Thank you so much for requesting from R3!

Hope you have a great day <3