Infinite Fluff

20. Class-ic

Y/n: lights please~

The lights started to dim and a spotlight was placed on to him everyone looked around to see where the spotlight was coming from but they could find no discernible source.

Y/n: now for the first time in all of your living memories I am proud to present The Life and Times of Ernest Miller Hemingway in approximately three and a half minutes GO!!!!

Y/n L/n then began to present his report to the class let me know it's to him it was being recorded by students and staff for later viewing and for posterity.

Y/n: born in Chicago in 1899 son of a physician and musician he had a reasonably uneventful childhood decided to study journalism enlisted with the Red Cross in World War 1 got blown up in Milan and spent 6 months in the hospital with severe shradinal wounds in both legs he fell in love with a nurse they decided to get married he came home to prepare she stayed there and ditched him for an Italian Soldier which initiated a lifelong pattern of him rejecting women before they could reject him take note everybody who is afraid of rejection~

Some people started to laugh at Y/n's little joke.

Y/n: he got a job as a foreign correspondent he fell in love with his roommate sister he married her and he moved to Paris they hung out with Gertrude Stein they kicked it with Pablo Picasso he started writing in Earnest no pun intended he moved to Toronto he had a child he then moved back to Paris he published a couple of books he cheated on his wife got divorced married The Other Woman he converted to Catholicism.....

Y/n L/n proceeded to quickly shake his head from side to side showing his disapproval of the choice to convert to Catholicism everyone laughed at his little joke.

Y/n: he cut his head open after pulling on a cord thinking he was flushing a toilet but instead ripped a skylight from the ceiling and smashed it onto his face!!!!!!

Everyone started laughing at the fact that Y/n L/n had just stated.

Y/n: he moved to Kansas City he had another child his father committed suicide he shot a lot of bears for one reason or another he had a car accident had another child he then moved to Africa to kill some wild animals and got dysentery Karma~

Everyone laughed again at the facts that were being presented to them.

Y/n: he published another book moved to Cuba shot himself in the leg whilst aiming at a shark!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone wants again laughed at the fact that were being presented to them.

Y/n: he then restarted the cycle of cheating on his wife got divorced married The Other Woman published For Whom the Bell Tolls sold half a million copies in a couple of months and got nominated for a Pulitzer Prize and he once again cheated on his wife got divorced married The Other Woman he then became the self-appointed leader of a band of Village militia outside of Paris and was subsequently brought up on charges for contravening the Geneva Convention and got away with it like a freaking champion!!!!!!!!!!!

Once again everyone laughed at the facts that were being presented to them.

Y/n: he got pneumonia moved back to Cuba and spent most of his free time Tracking Nazi U-boats with a machine gun and a pile of hand grenades I really am not making this crap up!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone was laughing at the facts are being presented to them once again.

Y/n: he had a few more car accidents three more concussions he got Clawed while playing with a lion!!!~

There was a dramatic pause where everyone continued to laugh.

Y/n: he got depressed he got fat he published a couple more books went back to Africa to shoot some more wild animals and he barely survived two separate plane crashes in the space of 24 hours winding up with a fractured skull, internal bleeding, cracked spine, ruptured liver, first degree burns, and a paralyzed sphincter muscle Karma~