Pico x BF / Pico x Keith || Oneshots!

- The Lover By Duras

He wasn't wrong. I felt like I had to run and never turn back for fear I'd stay with his toxic old self just because I loved him. Sitting here with him now? Those lines felt blurred, like hope spurring in my heart that he had changed. "So, no hard feelings? I know the way we ended was painful, but you get why. Right?" I asked him, holding the warm mug in my hands, clenching it for dear life. "Of course. There could never be any hard feelings for you, it was always the exact opposite. Even now." He said, giving me a flirty side eye. My heart wanted to jump and me with it, my head was telling me to leave. The conflicting emotions battled like no tomorrow. Just one comment and I'm questioning my commitment to everything but him.

"Is that your confession?" I asked him, hoping he'd say it outright. As wrong as it was, a part of me needed to hear him say he still loved me, wanted me. Just as I unfortunately did him. He chuckled, "Might as well rip off the band-aid, Blue." He commented, putting down him coffee mug on the table. "The minute you left, I knew I had to do something. I turned my life around, but I can't leave you behind. There's no one in this world I want other than you. I love you, Keith." He declares, sadly smiling at me. As if he was saying this knowing my answer.

My head started to ache, just begging me to do something. Leave, reject him, just something productive but I couldn't. He had a way of keeping me, even after all this time. "I still love you too." I replied quietly, hoping the cafe would drown out the words but it didn't. His eyes were on me but his sad smile was gone, he wore a look of indecision. He bit his lip for a minute and closes his eyes for a second. "I don't think I can leave here without you by my side." He acknowledged his feelings, putting me into a tight spot. Leaving here with him is essentially relationship suicide. I'd get off with Cherry just being upset for a day or two if I left now. Yet, to leave with him? She'd walk out, block me, and claim I ruined her. Rightfully so, but she would.

Knowing all this, it couldn't possibly be a good idea to say yes. To mess everything up for a man I said I didn't love two years ago is absurd. So... Why did I want to? My brain racked around trying to figure out why, in what world would I do this? I found an answer, not the one I was looking for, but an answer nonetheless. My life was happier when he fucked it and me up. It truly was a sickening thought, but my life was happier with him in it. And, for a chance to fuck my life up again with him? I'd sacrifice anything.

"Then don't." I affirmed, staring him dead in the eyes, my tone sultry and half-lidded. He chuckled at my sudden boldness but stood up anyways. He held out a hand and I took it no hesitation. As stupid as I was being, I wanted to fuck up my life once more. What comes, comes. I'd put my life in his hands tonight, and I'd take it back when the sun comes. He paid for our drinks and walked us out of the cafe, shoving an arm around my waist that slipped down to hips. A possessive grip as if he wouldn't let was entrapping me and I loved it. My wonders of right and wrong were silenced by his touch. The lines were blurred but that's okay, I'm the one who took off the glasses.

~

Sticky. All I thought of was the fact that I was sticky, thinking about anything else was just torture for me. So I'm avoiding it, just like my phone which has been buzzing for a bit. No doubt, Cherry was wondering where I was. I breathed in and out, turning over to see the man who had me wrapped around his finger. He was dripping out of me and I wanted it, full stop. No excuses could be made on my part. I was just a shit human being. That I knew, and I'm ready to accept my new and improved life a degenerate, as opposed to my old life a degenerate.

I stared at his sleeping features, he was sticky too, I made sure of that. Yet, there he was. The man who rocks my world, not once but twice now. He came back from the goddamn pits of hell itself to be with me, because fuck hellfire and eternal damnation. He wanted me so he came and took me, not even by force, with little to no resistance. Truly, we were a pair of sinners, if not the pair of sinners.

His eyes slowly opened and he smiled gently when he saw my sleepy eyes staring back to him. He pulled me close under the covers for a minutes and then repositioned himself on top of me. My backside pressed against his pelvic area once more with no insertion. At first I was expecting more but his actions surprised me. He reached for my hand and laid a kiss on the back of it.

"Forgive me for making love so soon after reuniting with you again. I swear, this isn't just sex. You're mine and I'm yours." He began, a somber tone yet a truthful look in his eye. "Only you make me feel this way, I want all of you, the new and old. And I want you to see all of me, new and old." He continued on, laying another kiss upon my hand as he proposed his love from me while staring down into my eyes. "I'll respect whatever you want. Tell me to go and I'll take you home right now. If you chose to stay and at any point change your mind I'll let you go. I'll be waiting for you forever. Whether it be your first or last choice." He proclaimed, hurt a bit at the prospect behind the eyes, but he didn't waver.

"I'll be faithful to you and you alone. No one else exists in my heart the way you do. Even if you were to just use for your desires, I want to do everything for you. So please, understand how much I love and want you." He finished his amourous rhapsody and went down to kiss my cheeks, my necks, and the side of my chest where my heart is. In one moment, I had never felt so overwhelmed with love and guilt. I didn't do this because I wanted to fuck something up, I did this because I couldn't admit that nothing in my life could replace him. Not a new job, haircut, home, or Cherry her fucking self could compare to this man. I assumed he was the same but he was different and I now knew it.

"I want you too."

~

| 2768 Words
That was crazy passionate and the fact I actually had to read part of "The Lover" by Duras to make this accurate is crazy.
- Lucid <3