Without You

Chapter Five

Blood pooled around me, blood covered my clothes, and blood continuously fell like a drizzle. The room was spinning, black dots consumed my vision. I tried blinking them away, but they stayed. My breathing turned short and raspy, and my heartbeat slowed down. I felt I was floating with nothing holding me back.

I heard a faint cry, calling out my name. But I didn't turn back, I wasn't going to stop. I wanted to follow the light, it was so warm and welcoming, I just wanted to reach out and be free. I heard the desperate voice again, trying to yank me out of my demented insanity. The light was growing further and further.

No. Please come back.

It was no use, it didn't listen to me. The voice was growing louder, the light getting fainter. The darkness slowly engulfing me into its cold embrace.

Let me go. I want to head towards the light. Please, leave me to die.

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My heart sank to my stomach when I heard that dreadful, constant beeping sound. I pried my eyes open, progressively blinking to adjust my vision. My suspicions were confirmed when I noticed the boring white walls and the white sheets.

I was in the hospital.

I sighed irritatingly at the heart monitor, it was giving me a headache with its irksome beeping. I carefully sat up, wincing at the throbbing pain in my wrists. I stared down at my bandaged arms and hands in confusion. What? Why am I bandaged up?

Realization struck me when I remembered everything.

A huge lump formed in my throat as I stared blankly at the ceiling above me. I finally went batshit crazy, hadn't I? Or was I always like that and I finally set my psychotic self free? I won't be surprised if they administered me into a mental institution, given to the extent of damage I had caused to the house.

Or maybe they should lock me up in a cage.

So this is it? This is how I ended up? A useless being with shit to live for and an unstable state of mind? Is this what life wanted to test me for? What am I supposed to do now?

I heard voices just outside the door, so I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. I didn't want them to know I was awake, I didn't want to hear what they have to say. I didn't need to see their faces swimming with pity.

The door opened and the scent of rose filled the room. Footsteps approached me, and I heard the placing of the flower bouquet on the table next to me; the sound of the chair being dragged against the floor and had placed it to the side of the bed. The person hadn't said a word, they remained completely silent. I could feel a pair of eyes staring down at me, as if they knew I was about to wake up any second now.

"I know you're awake, Juliet." I sighed in defeat and pried my eyes open. There's no hiding from Ryan O'Connell, he's as observant as a hawk.

I couldn't meet the blonde's gaze, because I was ashamed. I was ashamed of how I reacted to the whole situation, they must think I'm a monster for what I had done.

"Where's Natalie?" I asked hoarsely, trying to break off the tensioned silence.

"I sent her back to her house to eat and shower, she hadn't moved from your side when she found out."

I threw my head back against the pillow and gritted my teeth, guilt slithering its way to my aching heart. Once again, I'm being selfish and not even one second I had thought of my best friend.

"Don't beat yourself up, Jules. You've been through a lot." I knew Ryan was being sincere, he wasn't the type to sugarcoat or lie for my comfort.

"How long was I out?"