Queen of hearts (Alice In Borderland x F! reader)

Chapter 1: Hell no

"I said wassup, you aint gonna talk bitch?", The rabbit said in a deep voice as he/they/she/xe/ pe/cowself/ ratself/pooself (Honestly idgaf let's go with he) checked his nails sassily.

My mouth dropped and I didn't know what to say 'Is this a dream? what is life? what is the molecules in the air? what is the friction between the earth and moon?', I questioned life as I stared at the rabbit.

"Nah this bitch dumb as fuck... why did she even get selected... bitch ass looking girl", The rabbit looked me up and down judging me and I snapped back to reality 'THE HELL DID THIS RABBIT CALL ME!?', "WHO U CALLING A BITCH!? I CAN JUST COOK YOU RIGHT NOW AND EAT U WATCH YO FURRY MOUTH UP!", I shouted not even thinking about running or wtf is happening.

"Aren't you the one calling out for your mom to cook? bitch you can't even cook if your life depended on it", the rabbit roasted me with his deep voice 'WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENINGGGGG', "Ain't no way I'm speaking to a rabbit now", I say in disbelief as I clutched my hair.

"Ain't no way I'm speaking to a dumbass right now", He roasted back and I almost fainted at all the burns I'm getting from the rabbit.

"How the hell are you speaking?", I asked and he blankly looked at me.

"Using my vocal cords, I didn't know humans are this dumb", The rabbit sassily remarks and my jaw dropped 'If only I can roast people this good...', "Uhm ok that makes total sense... uhm... so what do you want?".

"I want to go and eat my carrots and sleep but I got forced into a mission to take you to another world", The rabbit sighed and I felt myself almost faint... again.

"What? another world? wtf is happening", I took a deep steady breath to keep myself from fainting.

"This bitch *shakes head* yes there's other worlds... and unfortunately you were selected to choose what world you want to go to"

 "H-h-h-how... this defies physics and laws of nature", I felt myself go dizzy from all the thinking, 'Is this really possible?'.

"Didn't you flunk physics? You are in no position to talk about laws of the world and physics", The rabbit went back to checking his nails.

"H-how did yo- I'm not even going to ask", I sighed.

"Can I reject the offer?", I asked with hope and he stopped checking his nails and looked at me with a 'Is this bitch fr' look.

"It's not an offer... dumbass, follow me", He started bouncing towards the front door.

"Well? Get your non existent ass over here", The rabbit clicked his tongue and jumped onto the door handle and opened the door 'How did I get roasted by a rabbit... what the hell is even happening...', I hesitantly stood up and followed the rabbit.

"HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?", I shouted at him as he went through a tree in my front yard 'WHAT!?', I thought as I walked towards the tree.

"What in the alice in the wonderland...", I muttered and crouched down reaching out to the tree, as my hand made contact with the it, it went through and I gasped. 'Should I go? or not? but that sassy rabbit did tell me to follow him...', I reluctantly went through the tree and gasped in horror as I felt myself falling down.

"SHIT SHIT!", I hyperventilated as I felt the blood rushing to my head and I felt myself loose consciousness. 

*Splat*

...

1 hour later...

*Groans*

"What.... the... hell", I clutched my head as I gained consciousness. 'What happened? THAT RABBIT!', I jolted up as I remembered.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I!?", I looked around and saw 4 doors around me with signs.

 Human Centipede 

Alice in Borderland

The Nun

Annabelle

'These must be the worlds... BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE CHOICES!? HUMAN CENTEPEDE!? THE NUN!? ANNABELLE!? HELL NAH THE ONLY THING DECENT IS ALICE IN BORDERLAND BUT I'LL STILL DIE!?', I panicked internally and walked towards the Alice in Borderland door.

"I don't know why I'm doing this... guess I have no choice", I mumbled and turned the handle and opened the door.

"Holy shit", my mouth dropped as I stared at the sight in front of me. An empty street that is commonly shown in the series. I walked forward and looked backwards to close the door but it disappeared "Oh", I looked at the empty street and looked back at my pyjama . 

"Well I am fucked..."

Word count: 1193