Gravity Falls X Reader

A Tale of Two Stans

The man crosses "Stanford Pines" off of a list of names. "Kid, a perpetual motion machine has one job: to not stop. I don't think you're West Coast Tech material." He leads the other college board members away. "No, wait! Don't go! I worked so hard!" Ford steps on an empty Toffee Peanuts bag, he picks it up and growls. Later at their house; Stan is sitting on a couch playing with a paddleball. "One-paddle-paddle-paddle, two-paddle-paddle. Man, that Jackie-O, what a fox." Ford enters. "Hey, what's the word, Sixer?" Stan asked. Ford holds up the Toffee Peanuts bag. "Can you explain what this was doing next to my broken project?!" He asked. "Ho-okay. I might have accidentally been, horsing around-" Stan tried to explain. "This was no accident, Stan; you did this! You did this because you couldn't handle me going to college on my own!" Ford shouted. "Look, it was a mistake! Although if you think about it, maybe there's a silver lining. Huh? Treasure hunting?" Stan asked. "Are you kidding me? Why would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my entire future?!" Ford shoves Stan onto the couch. Filbrick picks up Stanley by his shirt. "You did what, you knucklehead?" He asked. Caryn comes out of a room with a crying baby. "Stanley? What's goin' on in here?" She asked. Filbrick throws Stan outside. "You ignoramus! Your brother was gonna be our ticket out of this dump! All you ever do is lie and cheat, and ride on your brother's coattails. Well, this time, you cost our family potential millions! And until you make us a fortune, you're not welcome in this household!" He throws a duffel bag at him. "What?! Stanford, tell him he's bein' crazy!" Stan shouted. Ford, who was watching out his window, closes his curtains. "Stanford? Don't leave me hangin'. High six?" Filbrick slams the door. "Fine. I can make it on my own! I don't need you! I don't need anyone! I'll make millions and you'll rue the day you turned your back on me!" Stan gets in his car and drives away. "Thanks to one dumb mistake I had no brother, no home, no nothing. But I had a plan to fix everything." Stan said. "Oh! This story's so sad! I know what you two little broken teacups need: to hug it out! Hug it out! Hug train's comin' in the station. HUGAPOLOOZA! TWO THOUSAND!" Mabel shouted.

 "Kid, will ya knock that off? I'm tryin' to tell my life story here." Stan said. Stan as a young man with a metal detector is on the beach. "I had decided I wasn't gonna show my face at home until I proved I could make something of myself. Unfortunately, the treasure-hunting business was slow going. Apparently gold was some kind of... rare metal." In the flashback, Stan sees a billboard advertising the traveling salesman lifestyle and throws his metal detector away. "Luckily I struck another kind of gold... in sales." Later Stan is in a commercial. "Hi there! I'm Stan Pines of Stan Co. Enterprises. Are you sick of this always happening to you?" A pitcher of juice is thrown at him, getting juice all over him. "Then you need the Shammy of the future!" He begins to wipe himself off, then the commercial skips ahead to him completely clean. "Made with the same material astronauts use to clean up cranberry stains on the moon! That's the Sham Total! It's a total sham." "I had made my mark, all right. Unfortunately, so did the Shammies." A woman uses a Sham Total to clean a robe, but the blue dye from the Shammy leaks onto it and her hands. Apparently the cheap dye I used to color them only made stains worse." Later there's an angry mob. "Customers weren't crazy about that. Luckily, they were chasing Stan Co. brand pitchforks." The mob's pitchforks break; Stanley drives by them in his car. "SUCKERS!" "I was officially banned from New Jersey, but with a quick name change, Steve Pinington was ready to take on Pennsylvania." He ends up in another commercial. "Hi! I'm Steve Pinington!" He pulls at Band-aid on his arm "Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is the Rip Off! The Rip Off won't give you rashes, I repeat: it won't give you rashes." The words "IT WON'T GIVE YOU RASHES" appears on the screen; voice-over from present as angry mob with rashes chases Stan. "It gave ya rashes." "I traveled the whole country, sometimes outside of it, always one step ahead of the law, looking for something that would be my big break." Stan said. "Whoa. So that explains all the fake IDs." (Y/n) said. "But wait, what about you? Did you end up going to your dream school?" Dipper asked Ford. "Not exactly." He said.