Darling

6. let it lie

The deep rasp dripping off his whispers left Spencer trembling a little. Mad, supposed to be mad, she thought to herself as she forced herself to stand up from his grasp and turn around. She smiled, trying to cover her shaking, as she turned to the bathroom and closed the door. She waited until the bedroom door closed, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, but Spencer refused to let them fall. She wasn't even sure why she was crying.

"Tiny, time to go," John's voice rang through the room, muffled by the doors.

"Coming!"

Spencer moved quickly, pulling on her boots before grabbing a hat and her sunglasses from by the door. She gave her father a sad smile as she opened the door, leaning into the hug he gave her.

The walk to the funeral site was short, and the group gathered small. But Spencer knew that's what Lee would have wanted. Out of all her siblings, Spencer had always been closest with Lee, with the exception of Kayce. Lee and her had been the only two to stay, truly stay, on the Yellowstone for both their father and the way of life. Beth would come and go at their father's request, and Jamie was only helpful as long as it better himself down the line. And Kayce, well he left. Even his own brother's burial didn't seem enough to bring him back, which made Spencer's anger rise with her twin. His actions were part of the reason Lee was even being buried in the first place.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Moinca's words broke Spencer from her growing anger.

Spencer smiled, pulling her sister-in-law into a hug. "I'm sorry for yours too, Mon. How is everyone?"

"They're holding it together, we're all just as shocked but I know how bad my brother's temper was."

"It seems our siblings all have that in common," Spencer smiled, causing Monica to laugh. The two women had remained friendly over the years, seeing as Spencer was the only one Kayce kept in touch with. "Speaking of troublemakers, no Kayce?"

Monica shook her head at the girl. "He won't talk to me, Spence. I'm scared he's pulling away."

"I'm sure he just feels guilty, he lost someone on both sides of a silly argument."

Monica nodded, although it seemed to her like Spencer knew more. "Is there something you know that I don't?"

"I only know what I saw, and that wasn't much."

The women fell in silence as they reached the end of their walk. Spencer smiled once more at the brunette, walking off to stand with her father and siblings. She felt the presence of Rip behind her, but she couldn't bring herself to deal with those emotions. But then she felt the looks of Beth from across their father, and her anger began to rise.

"We are gathered here today to say our goodbyes," the pastor started, drawing the attention of those gathered.

At some point Spencer began to faze out the pastor, focusing on the bouquet of flowers on Lee's coffin. It was then she felt the tears forming once again, dripping over and onto her cheek. Shaking her head slightly, Spencer looked around, making sure no one was paying attention to her. When she was satisfied no one was, she reached her hand back slightly, feeling through the air until she felt what she needed.

Rip had seen Spencer's hand push back, a sense of relief washing over him when she grabbed his hand. He gave her a gentle squeeze, running his thumb over the number of rings she never seemed to take off. His movements grounded himself almost as much as they grounded Spencer. Although she was certainly quick to let go as the pastor finished his sermon.

Like nothing had ever happened.

Rip looked to the ground, nodding his head at nothing in particular. He knew he had to talk to Spencer, and soon. If not for her sake for his own. He had been going damn near crazy the past week, wanting to be close but always being frozen out. When he looked back up, he saw Spencer lagging behind at Lee's coffin, and he knew it wasn't the right time to talk then either.