?MY LIGHT IN THE DARK ? || JIKOOK ?

2.

"It's just a few annoying phone calls, someone having a bit
of trouble letting go."

"Speaking of having trouble letting go." I turned back to Jin.

"how's that ex of yours?"

"You're not getting away that easily." Jin said, evading his
own question cleanly, which I took note of.

"Seriously, San was an
absolute dick."

"If no one else is going to say
it, I will. San was awful."

"He didn't even treat you like
a full person and do you guys remember that time at
sandwich shop, when the poor guy behind the counter forgot
his tomatoes?"

"I work in the food industry
and let me tell you, I would
have blacklisted him from my bakery forever if he'd yelled at one of my employees like that."

Everyone groaned, enjoying and despising the shared memory together but I slid down in the comfy leather booth seat just a little bit, as if on my way to
hide under the table.

I felt myself shrink.

If the men I dated were a reflection of myself, the mirror was definitely cracked and it
was what my friends saw every time I introduced them to a
new alpha douche-canoe.

My face burned and I
wanted to hide.

"Abso-fucking-lutely." Hobi agreed loudly.

"God, I hated how he walked
into a room, as if everyone
was supposed to notice him."

"Like we gave a flying pig's a—"

Hobi stopped talkingas he
caught a glimpse of my face
but Jimin, sitting next to me, hadn't noticed.

"I'm not kidding anymore, you need to pick your fuck buddies more wisely or I'm going to
start picking for you!"

At any other time, those words would have filled me with joy.

If only Jimin would choose to
put himself in my bed.

That would definitely improve
the caliber of man between my sheets but no, Jimin wasn't on the table... er... the bed.

Whatever.

I met his warm hazel eyes and
I felt like I'd turned into King Midas, killed by the very thing he loved, smothered in the embrace of what he'd always longed for.

"I don't know why you insist
on getting with guys who are
going to treat you this badly."

Jimin yammered on, in fact, it seemed like he was just
getting started.

"I'm worried about you."

"Why do you do this to
yourself?"

"Why do you pick the very men who are going to hurt you the most, who are going to treat
you like shit?"

Jimin wasn't being deliberately cruel but having it all laid out
in front of me through his eyes.

Eyes that I knew cared for me,
if only just as a friend, I saw myself as I was: a complete mess, incapable of real love so desperate I sell myself cheap.

Hell, maybe at this point I was cheap.

I didn't want Jimin to
think that way about me.

I felt my defenses kick in about time too and I hardened my stare as I continued to look at Jimin, making sure he knew I was good and pissed off.

"You know what, Jimin?" I said.

"I'll listen to your love advice
the minute you have an actual relationship that lasts longer than a snowflake on a hot wind shield."