?MY LIGHT IN THE DARK ? || JIKOOK ?

37.

I followed the rose petals
straight through the house to
the backyard, which was also completely lit up with candles.

I was so overwhelmed by
the yard and the rose petals
and the whole setup of the
house and the yard, that I missed Jimin himself on my
first scan of the garden.

On my second look though,
I saw him and then I realized why I'd missed him.

He was right in the center
of the garden, in a full suit,
with a beaming smile on his
face, so it made no sense
that I'd missed him, except
he was on his knees.

He was on his knees and he
was holding a little box that looked far, far too tiny in
his big, strong hands.

I walked towards him on
very shaky legs, trying not
to fall or cry or otherwise
make this moment too
much and ruin it.

When I got closer, I noticed
the glitter on Jimin's cheeks
and the trail of tears that he
was blinking out of his eyes
and I let myself go.

If even my tough alpha was crying in this moment, then
I was absolutely allowed to
do the same.

Tears running down both
our faces, Jimin leaned
towards me still on his knees
and took my hand in his free one, the other still holding
the box with the ring inside
that I could now see.

The ring glimmering in the candlelight in ways that
looked magical.

Maybe it was magical, I
thought, as I focused back
on the man in front of me.

A ring to symbolize the biggest miracle that had happened in
my life that this man had
wanted me, had waited for
me had insisted on choosing
me and then had saved me.

Looking down at his face,
I saw all his care for me
etched across it.

I saw it in how he caressed
my hand.

I saw it in how he thought
for a moment now before speaking, as if making sure
he picked the right words.

I saw it in how he looked at
me, as if I'd actually been the one miracle in his life, too.

I knew in that moment how
lucky I was that Jimin had
come into my life, that he'd shown me something different than all the jerks who'd
been in it before.

He'd believed in me and my worth long enough and hard enough for me to believe in
it, too.

And now he was on his
knees, about to ask me to
marry him...

if he'd ever get to that part.

He was still moving his lips
as if rehearsing his lines,
thinking so hard a little crease formed between his eyes.

Maybe I realized, it was my
turn to be there for him.

I grasped the hand that held mine and knelt down next to
my man in the dirt of the backyard.

I wasn't in a suit, or in
anything even a little close.

I was in sweatpants and a
shirt that I was pretty sure
still had a bit of spit-up on it from my day with the baby
but I knew neither of us cared.

I cradled the hand I held,
looking deep into his eyes.

I saw him still struggling to
find the words.

"Take as long as you need
to, my love." I said, knowing
that if I took this moment
away from him that he'd
carry it around like a regret.

My man did like things to
be perfect.

"When you're done, I'm going
to ask you to marry me."

He smiled at that.

"I love you." he said.

"I love you and I thank
every power out there every
day that you picked me,
that you allowed me into
your life and that you some
how love me in return."

"You have given me the
greatest gift a man could
ever ask for."

He began to tear up again
and he knocked on his chest
with the hand holding the ring
for a moment, as if to clear it.

"I never thought I'd be lucky enough to get to spend my
days and love my nights
with my best friend."

"With a man who knows me better than anyone else in the world and still stuck around."

"With a man as loving and beautiful and kind as you are."

"You are my miracle and I
would be honored if you
would spend the rest of
your life with me."

I didn't even try to hold
back my tears as I let
him say his whole speech.

Then I gathered my breath,
so I could get out what I had
to say and, squeezing his
hand even tighter, I began.

"Jimin, you are my miracle."

"And there is nothing I
want more than to live
my life with you."

"So Jimin, will you marry
me?"

Then we were kissing, falling back to lie on the ground,
the stars shining above our
heads and the grass tickling
the back of our necks.

His suit was getting grass stained, my shirt was too
thin and the evening dew on
the grass was dampening it
by the second and it was
the most perfect moment
of my life.

We kissed for a long time
and at some point Jimin
slipped the ring he'd
bought onto my finger.

It fit perfectly.

Just like us.

Then we went back to kissing.

A long time later, we were
lying in each other's arms
still outside, still under the
stars and I asked Jimin what
had been going through his
head this last week, when
I'd been worried about his avoidance of conversations
about the future.

"I just wanted the next conversation we had about
our future to be with you knowing where I stood,
with my ring on your
finger." he said,

"I never wanted you to
feel unsure again."

I wondered how much more
my heart could grow with
love for this man before it
burst wide open.

It already felt like it was
about to.

I turned back to him, kissing
him again.

And again.

And again.

We kissed until we slept.

And we slept under the stars.

Together at last.