(i'm worried) it will always be you

Chapter 5 - Petrichor and old beginnings

"Hey- what's that supposed to mean?" Sapnap called out, watching with a furrowed brow, as Karl slowly looked back at him over his shoulder.

"If you can't read between the lines, then maybe you're just an idiot. But if you're intentionally ignoring what you know I'm trying to say, then- fuck- maybe I'm the idiot." Karl said with a rather sad laugh at the end, like he knew the second option was the more accurate one.

"What, so that's it then?"

Please don't go.

Karl gave him an expecting look, one that reminded Sapnap of the way he stared at him on the plane ride there, like he was waiting for Sapnap to answer all the questions he had yet to ask.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Karl said under his breath.

"So I'm just an idiot because I can't read your mind?"

I know you want the security- the promise- that I won't go back to her before you make your decision to not go back to him. I know that you know this is a pattern for me and you don't want to put your heart on the line if I have no intention of changing. I know, I know, I know.

"Somehow I think I've still ended up being the idiot. Who knows, maybe we're both idiots." Karl said with a half smile, leaving Sapnap's room before he could even think of something else to say.

The storm raged on in Sapnap's mind, while the one outside had moved on as quickly as it came in.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to text Josh and tell him to leave Karl the fuck alone if he knows what's good for him. He wanted Karl to be laying in his bed again. He wanted to stop holding back all the things he wished he could say.

For once, Sapnap felt like he could act on that feeling. Before he knew it, he was marching out of his room, heading towards the room Karl and Punz were sharing.

When Sapnap turned the corner, Karl was just about to enter his bedroom. It was like he could feel Sapnap's presence at the end of the hallway, something causing him to freeze with his hand still clutching the handle.

"I don't want you to-"

"There you are. I can't do this anymore. I can't stand you acting like I don't even exist! I'm sorry, puppy. I'm really, truly, sorry. Please, just- please."

Sapnap tried his best to not shudder from Cleo wrapping her arms around his shoulders, shoving her tear soaked face into the crook of his neck.

He and Karl had yet to break their eye contact, despite her sudden appearance.

Karl was the first to look away, briefly glancing down at the back of her head, before slowly dragging his eyes back to Sapnap. The look on his face begged only one question.

Who's it going to be?

Making his decision- his decision to choose Karl- was a lot less complicated when Cleo wasn't crying in his arms.

Even though Sapnap hadn't as much as laid a hand on Cleo, his hesitancy seemed to be enough for Karl to make the decision for him. He turned around, heading into his room, and didn't look back.

Sapnap stood there, staring at the door, wishing to see it open back up and for Karl to be waiting on the other side.

"Shh." Sapnap mumbled, slowly reaching one of his hands around Cleo, resting it on the small of her back.

"I'm sorry, puppy. Please say you forgive me. Please say we're okay."

Sapnap bit the inside of his cheek, his bottom lip nearly about to begin quivering.