The First Time (Phan)

Chapter 20 - See You Soon

I'm still not sure what Phil am I are. I don't think either of us do. We don't act like a couple, we just enjoy being with each other and occasionally sharing a kiss here and there. Ok, sometimes more like make out but you get the idea. My point is, we're more than best friends, but we're definitely not 'boyfriends.' There's no name to call what we are. We're just Dan and Phil.

Soon the taxi had stopped and we both stepped out to find the tall old building of the station leaning over us. Phil paid for the taxi and waved it off whilst I tried to fit the last of my belongings in my case.

"D'you want any help?" Phil rested his hand against my lower back.

I embraced his touch, trying so hard to remember what that felt like and have it imprinted in my brain. Stuffing my phone charger into the front pocket, leaving it in a way that was sure to get it tangled up, I stood straight again and smiled softly at Phil. "No I'm all good thank you."

Looking at Phil I could see he didn't want me to go. His eyes were already starting to glaze over with tears and the creases by his mouth were already appearing like they did when he got upset. But he was trying to pull a brave face, because he knew that the second he started to cry, I would too. And the last thing we needed was us to be balling our eyes out onto one another out the front of a crowded station.

Phil pulled a sad smile, "C'mon then. Don't want you to be late."

"No. I guess not." I sigh, lifting the handle of my suitcase and starting to drag it behind me. My handheld being carried with my other hand. Only to feel it leave my grip and Phil taking it in his. I turn to him and smile again, knowing that it will be a while before I can next see him again.

Phil switches my case to his other hand and gently reaches out for my free hand. Hesitantly I take it. Feeling his strong grip as our hand clasped together in a perfect shape, fitting together like puzzle pieces. I could already feel people staring but I couldn't give a crap. The reassurance that Phil wasn't letting go of me anytime soon, was enough for me to keep believing that we will meet up again one day.

As we entered the station the buzz of the rushing commuters took over my brain stem cells to keep calm. All around me was noises causing my reactions to be on high alert. People shoved pass us both, the smell of their over sprayed perfume filling my nostrils. I don't understand how people live day in and day out being stressed because of public transport. It would drive me insane! The thought that you could be fired by the snap of a finger simply because there was a five minute delay on the Piccadilly Line. Why put yourself through the stress? Sure jobs in the city tend to pay more, but in my opinion it's not worth the mental breakdowns and sweaty armpits shoved in your face during peak times.

I felt Phil tighten his grip in my hand, knowing how I often feel with crowds. This time though, I was too saddened by what was occurring once we made it through the crowd and reached the platform. I'd rather sit in the middle of a busy crowd with hundreds and thousands of people walking and running around me then face what it was I was about to face. I'd rather sit through my worst nightmare than leave Phil.

Throughout the week I'd met the majority of his family, including his dear old Nanna who stated I had "the most chipmunk like features" she'd ever seen on a person. At the time I laughed and thanked her, yet I still don't know if it was a compliment or not. I'd practically become a second son to Mrs. Lester, she fed me continuously and enjoyed our little heart to heart chats we had over the dinning table whilst Phil, his father and brother watched the latest episode of Lost. They were a few episodes in front of me and his mother wasn't keen on the show. Instead we sat at the table and talked about whatever was on our mind. In fact, I'm pretty sure she think Phil and I are dating.