Counterclockwise

20: Thesis on the Rift

There will be people who write essays on the shape of the Rift and why it matters. Simon never read them, because that was about the most boring part of the whole Rift he could imagine. If only he knew that that shape would be what was carved into his body.

If he knew that that would be why it was the shape it will be. Is.

He couldn't make out, among all the noise, what it was that Noel said as he swung the sword down; but he knows that for a split second he feels metal resting on the back of his neck, before it's ripped away harshly. He lays down, rolls over- laying across the Rift, cold air creeping up the small of his back- and looks up at the scene happening upside down above him. Miss Mina is attempting to physically restrain Noel, her arms around his neck, and the sword swings dangerously in the air- and Lee leaps across the Rift. Which, Simon notes, is growing. Which his blood is seeping into.

Lee goes to grab the sword out of Noel's hand, but Noel manages to shake off his mother- for all her strength, she's half his size, and most of hers comes from determination and courage. He shoves Lee aside- and Lee falls, tries to steady himself, with an arm that plunges into the Rift. He overbalances, nearly slides left and slides right in- but he manages to catch himself.

Noel levels the sword at Simon. Simon looks at him upside-down, his shoulders on one side of the Rift and his legs on the other, as ice creeps up over Simon's back. Over the wound that opened the Rift.

"What the fuck have you done?" is what Noel asks, which Simon can only laugh at. "Is this what you wanted?"

Simon shakes his head, and the point of the sword nicks his skin- and he feels the unstable surface shift under him. Realises he doesn't have much longer before he falls in. "It was inevitable."

"Is this some fucking cult thing?" Noel demands, "some apocalypse you wanted to bring about? I'll undo it. I'll find a way to undo it."

Simon watches the blade of the sword. He has a theory. It's not happy- it's not what he wants- but at least it lets him die alongside Lee, like he's been somewhat planning to this whole time. It would explain why the Rift never closes, if it's his fault.

"You won't," Simon whispers, "you can't."

He sees Noel's face twist in anger, sees his arms raise. He keeps his eyes on Noel, because he wants to see if he's right, if this is really how he dies. If the end of his world is really the end of all of it.

But there's a scramble of movement just as the sword is coming down, just as that silver blade aims right for Simon's neck; and instead Simon feels it across his chest, lighter, feels the rumble of the earth beneath him.

In that split second, he sees Lee's fist connecting with Noel's face, but then he's lost balance, and he's-

-he was falling, but he's stopped, hanging, between two walls of ice. He tries to look up, which is down at his feet, but the rising mist makes it difficult; blinking through it, he can make out the roof of 10 Downing Steet, and he can hear Miss Mina saying his name, can feel her hand gripping his ankle.

He looks down, which is up above his head.

He expects white light; he expects the goddess of death that haunts Lee's dreams. He expects nothingness.

He still feels like this isn't far off. The walls of ice extend down many more feet, and it still seems there's this white, almost glowing mist obscuring everything- but Simon can see the ice beyond from this close. At the bottom of these walls, squinting through the mist, there appears to simply be more ice, but it bends. Like it opens up from a crevasse to a cave. Maybe it's just an illusion, a dying man's hallucination of an oasis, but maybe it's not the afterlife that awaits him. Maybe there's a place to go.