Counterclockwise

20: Thesis on the Rift

Inexplicably, Simon still feels sad. Noel is still up there, and he will never know the truth. He will suffer, for crimes he did or did not commit- Simon can't sort out in his mind right now who's really at fault. It hardly matters. Noel will not know what really happened here until he's old and dying.

Until he makes eye contact with Simon, and he recognises him.

"Where the fuck are we?" Lee asks, and Simon just gestures towards the blue-eyed fox, like that's an answer. But when he looks, the fox is gone.

Simon swallows. "Inside the Rift."

"You sound like you know what that means," Miss Mina says, slowly.

Simon smiles softly. "I have a lot to explain. But what- what happened up there? After I fell."

Lee frowns, as he tries to pull himself together and stand up. Simon can see the swelling on his face. "Fighting," he says quietly. "Noel shoved Mum into the Rift."

"He didn't mean to," Miss Mina says softly. Simon feels almost too guilty to tell her how Noel's story ends; now that they're here, wherever here is, he knows this is a infinitely better place to be than where Noel will be forever.

But he also knows that isn't the end of it. "I punched him," Lee says, quiet. "Hard. And a lot."

"He'll be okay," Simon says, and it's technically a lie, but Lee is staring at his own fist, for just a moment too long- but then, suddenly, his arms are around Simon's neck, holding him tight.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Lee mutters in a relieved breath. "I thought- I thought for a moment, I'd-"

Simon grips Lee back, even tighter. "I'm okay."

He feels Lee's hot tears on his neck. "I just- god, I... I thought you were dead. I thought you were going to fucking die, and I- I-"

Simon just holds him, lets him get it out. He's not sure why he himself is crying, now, either; quite possibly relief.

"Can you get us somewhen safe?" Miss Mina asks gently, and for a moment, Simon thinks it'll happen, somehow- like they'll be standing in that abandoned Japanese villa again, as if it's that easy. It's meant to be. It was.

But they stay sitting on the ice, and after a moment, Lee sits back and looks around in shock. And Simon knew it couldn't be any other way.

"I-" Lee looks down at his hands. And then he grabs Simon's hand.

"It's okay," he tells Simon, tells himself. "This was meant to happen. Right?"

"I don't know about meant to." Connie will erase not just Izzy's history, but Simon's. If Simon hadn't been there all along, who could Noel have cut so deep that it cut down to Lee's soul? That it took everything he had and poured it into that damage- that it opened a cut somewhere new? If Lee hadn't hit Noel so hard he got brain damage, maybe Noel could've admitted where he'd hidden the notebook Simon had written; maybe he could've admitted the truth. But history looped, and it couldn't have looped if none of that had happened. "But I knew it was going to."

Miss Mina rises to her feet. "You both better explain," she says, "the moment we find somewhere safe."

Simon doesn't want to think about what he'll have to tell her. It's all bad news, as far as she's concerned- some of it horrifically bad. The only goods news is that it's not as bad as they thought it would be.

Simon grabs the sides of Lee's face, pulls him closer- seals everything with a single kiss.

"I'm just so glad you're okay," Lee repeats again, with a shaky breath.

"I'm so glad we're not dead," Simon says with a little laugh. "We get another chance."

"A new start," Lee whispers. There's a mourning in his voice for what he's lost, but at the same time, there's possibility.

"Oh!" Miss Mina doesn't exactly say anything, but Simon and Lee both turn to see where she's looking- at the little arctic fox, returning. Not the one Simon was speaking to- the smaller one, with dark eyes, running forward and sitting deliberately at the entrance to the hall.

Following behind it is a person, wearing thick clothes cut like Simon has never seen in a history book or on the streets of another century with Lee. The eyes that peer curiously at the three of them are pale green, surrounded by tattoos- something distinctly new.

"Ngiivess ve?" says a voice from underneath all those layers. Simon doesn't need to know that it's not anything from his present time, that it's not anything historical. This is not history.

He squeezes Lee's hand. "You said you wanted something new," he whispers. "We've got a lot to figure out, but we're here."

Lee smiles. It's bittersweet, but it's not just bitter. "As long as we figure it out together."