Language

? chapter 23

"Fuck the guys, really," Rika says, "If they have to get out of bed before noon then they don't want to participate in anything."

"Did you keep one of them up all night, Rika?" Amaiah suggestively asked, poking her side. Rika narrowed her eyes, then looked at me.

"Pretty sure all of us did," she shrugged. I pursed my lips, side-glancing Amaiah, who was not embarrassed whatsoever.

"I can't help that men are so needy," Amaiah said, "And Axel likes to go to bed early, so we were just sleeping."

"Oh, please. I heard you giggling at midnight," I called her out, and her smile broke free on her lips. Rika laughed hard, but then she looked at me. Oh, no. Amaiah found her chance.

"Yeah, well, I heard you scream," Amaiah backfired. I gasped dramatically, putting my hand over my mouth. To be honest, I didn't mind, but when it was Luis, I did mind.

"Damn, you lucky bitch," Rika told me, "Noah got too drunk. His dumbass fell asleep on the couch."

"Are you two serious?" Amaiah asks the question that I had thought about, too.

Rika shrugged, "Maybe... I think it might be just a summer fling, though."

"What do you want it to be?" I ask her, hoping it wasn't too personal. A different glint appeared in her eyes.

"I haven't figured that out yet," she said. "What about you and Eros?"

I take a second to think about. I don't really know. It's like he wants me, but sometimes it's only to make sure no one else has me. And I think he likes making Emilio mad, too.

"I'm not sure," I answer, "It's confusing, and I'm not good at understanding what he wants, or if he wants anything more at all..."

"I get it," Amaiah assured me, "Men think we're complicated, but it's really them that make no sense."

"Exactly," I agree.

"Do you want my opinion?" Rika asks, her tone a little softer than usual.

I nod, "Of course I do."

"You're different than the others he's been with. He's never serious with girls. Eros is a brooding, angry guy," she says, and I'm starting to think she doesn't like him too much, "But he does have feelings, even if tries to pretend to be tough."

"He used to hurt girls, like, for fun, I guess," she adds. My jaw drops, but then she immediately explains what she said, "Not physically, of course."

Oh. This information doesn't sit right with me.

"And I have this cousin, Alyssa, who is a teen model, and she's so pretty, but he dumped her the second she said she liked him. I'm pretty sure they were just having sex, but she didn't want to only mess around anymore. So she confessed her feelings, and he told her she meant nothing to him and then stopped all contact."

A really shitty part of me is glad those feelings weren't mutual. He was using her, and I'm...happy?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Is he using me?

"I'm not saying it's the same with you, because he's obviously already stayed longer than he has with anyone else, but I'm warning you to be careful. He can be unpredictable," Rika concludes.

Well, shit. That would've been nice to know before I had sex with him.

Amaiah glances at me, and she silently tells me that she's not happy with that explanation.

"So he's a dick?" She assumes. I exhale deeply, trying to figure out what to do.

"I mean, yeah, but that was a while ago. He might've changed," Rika shrugs.